One of the hardest parts about anticipating my mom’s death is that Matt and I have the challenge of preparing our boys for what’s happening. They’re already very aware of her illness, and I think they’ve got a pretty good handle on the situation because we’ve been open and honest with them.
Last night, I got out one of few books that we have about dying and heaven. This one is called “Someone I Love Died” and while it’s pretty good, and probably my favorite of the couple we’ve read, it’s still not just right for kids my boys’ age. It does allow for us to talk about lots of things as we go through it, though, so it’s OK. At least it’s not Maria Shriver’s “What’s Heaven?” book…I bought it, and while the story isn’t horrible, it contains some nonsense about “if you’re good enough you’ll go to heaven” and “some people believe in different kinds of heaven and have different names for it.” Oh, good, let’s be wishy-washy and not tell our kids what we really believe. Oh, and not base it on the Bible. Sheesh.
{’Scuse me…quietly stepping down from soapbox}
Anyway, the concept of heaven is such a difficult one for adults to grasp…imagine being 3 and 5 and trying to sort it out. But not telling them what is going on and helping them figure out what we believe as a family is simply out of the question (someone I know suggested I do this…I tried to be civil in my response). So last night while reading, we talked about what we think heaven will be like, and how no one knows for sure. And there’s a part in the book where you ask (and record, actually) if your child has any questions about heaven. These are what they really asked.
:: Which car do you take to get to heaven?
:: What house will we live in?
:: Are there a hundred stars?
:: Is it light all the time?
:: Which side will Jesus be on? The right or the left?
I’d love some suggestions for other books if you’ve been through something like this. I just saw a Beverly Lewis book called “What Is Heaven Like?” that looks like it might be good, and one by Larry Libby called “Someday Heaven”. Might have to order those, unless you’ve seen them and know they aren’t great.
Filed under: bennett, family, luke, out of the mouths of babes, parenting
i don’t have any book suggestions, but props to you for being honest with them and allowing them to feel safe to ask questions and express themselves. you are setting a great example for them. and i’m constantly praying for all of you.
I haven’t read the Beverly Lewis book, but I have read some of her adult fiction and she is a great writer!!
We are praying for you and the boys!!
Have you checked the county library for those 2 books? I’d start there before I bought them.
I don’t have any suggestions of any kind but my prayers are with you on this matter.
Being honest and reading the books will help. Death is such a hard concept for children.
My mom passed away almost six years ago and it still feels like yesterday. I wish I had asked her what her favorite Bible versus were and wish I knew more about her childhood memories so I could pass her stories along to my kids.
Cherish the time you have left with her.
Would you like to borrow our copy of Randy Alcorn’s book called “Heaven for Children”? We bought it for our boys when studying the book last fall. I can bring it on Sunday if you’d like. Praying for you, friend.
I was just thinking something similar to Suzanne. You might see if the church library has one or both of those books that you listed – OR – some other excellent book. You can ask at the library desk and one of the adults there should be able to help you locate that section.
The church library actually had very little to offer…I was disappointed when I went there in January looking for books. If I remember correctly, the only one they had for children at the time was the “Someone I Love Died” book, which I do like (there might have been one or two more, but that was it). I might have to try to find some new ones for the library after I know which ones WE like best.
When we lived there I volunteered in the church library and did the ordering. You can talk to Melody who took over ordering and I know she would be happy to purchase your suggestions. That is an area that needs a few more options. And I always loved when people requested things. The library isn’t good unless it meets the needs of the people!