I like to think that that’s what you hear upon entering heaven.
Monday night at 7:35, my mom’s almost-4-year battle with cancer ended peacefully. She died at home, which was her wish, and my brothers and dad were home with her. She’d been in a coma for the last 36 hours of her life, so she wasn’t in pain, which is the best we could have asked for at this point.
It’s a relief for everyone, really; she’s been in pain and suffering for a long time now, and that’s over for her. And the pain of watching her go through this is over for us, along with the constant worry about when it was going to happen. (This, of course, is replaced by the pain of losing an amazing mother, but it feels different.) While we’ve obviously been preparing ourselves for this inevitable outcome, you are just never ready to hear that your mom is gone.
Our family is doing well. Bennett reminded me not long after I told him that she had died that she is in heaven now, and that’s good. And he’s right. I had a friend email that she’s probably dancing now, and I love that image…that her new body is healthy, and not hurting, and she’s rejoicing in her new home. The outpouring of love and support from friends and family has been nothing short of completely overwhelming. We had tons of food, drinks, paper products and small gifts coming into the house yesterday, and I know that today will be more of the same. (I’ll have a special post about funerals/food/gifts coming soon.) And there were lots of really, really nice comments and memories about Mom. I guess the beautiful thing about an illness like this, if there is one, is that Mom knew while she was alive what she meant to everyone, because there was time to tell her. So while it’s nice to know that people think these things, it’s really comforting to know that she knew all of this, too.
My mom wanted her visitation and funeral to be held at the church she’s attended her whole life. Because of this, we had to put off her services until Thursday night, because the Harvard Glee Club is perfoming there tonight (I know – random); otherwise, we’d be having her services tonight. She has donated her body to science, so her body will not be at the visitation, and there is obviously no burial (right now), so we’re doing all of it on Thursday night, instead of a Friday morning funeral.
All for now.
Thinking of you, praying for you and loving you from afar. May your day be blessed and full of peace as you and your family are together.
We, too, are praying for you. We pray that you will be comforted knowing that your mom is in Heaven.
i remember that eric had those same feelings when his dad passed away from cancer. it’s so hard b/c you don’t want them to be hurting any more but you don’t want to lose them.
we’re all thinking of you. let us know if you need anything.
After you called Monday night Larry said, “What do you think Arlene is doing right now?”. Obviously we know she’s in heaven so it’s nice to think about who she was visiting with first or if she was dancing.
Keep the memories strong by talking about her. Don’t ever let your boys forget a single moment. And when there are other grandkids in the family someday…continue to talk about her. They’ll feel like they know her just by the stories and memories all of you share with them.
She was great!
I am so sorry for your loss. Your post was so perfect and I will be praying for you.
Much love, Laurie
No words… just prayers for all of you.
I love the thought of her rejoicing w/ a healthy body again and getting to visit others in heaven. I’m so sorry for your loss though, it has to be so rough. We are praying for all of you. I agree with Mandy – keep the memories strong and your boys and future grandchildren will feel like they have always known her.
She made a huge impact on Andrew in just the few times that he was over there to visit w/ me. She is an amazing woman!
I am so sorry to hear that your mom died. Mine died of cancer too, almost 6 years ago. Heartbreaking. But my mom accepted Christ the day before she died, so that comforts me greatly. May God comfort you as well.
“I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me . . . has crossed over from death to life.” (John 5:24)
As difficult as this has been for you – and few things are more sad than saying good-bye to a beloved parent – it has been a blessing for the rest of us to watch the closeness, courage, & love within your family that have brought you through the past 4 years. Your wonderful mother fought as hard and long as she could, and I have repeatedly been humbled to tears by the strength of her love for all of you, the way she endured and fought this disease, and – above all – her faith in our Savior.
At noon today, when Luke & Ben & I prayed over lunch, Ben once again said that “Nana is in Heaven” and then when I said yes, and that she wasn’t sick any more, he said, “Yes, and she can walk now and she’s awake.” Isn’t the simple understanding and faith of a child just precious?
I am deeply sorry for your loss, I hope that you find comfort in the fact that your mom’s pain is gone and she is completely at peace now. We are thinking of you and your family.
I’m so sorry, and I say that with complete empathy. My mom also died of cancer after dealing with it for 4 years, and was in a coma for about 3 days before she passed. I am so happy to hear about the love you are surrounded with. It is complex time, emotionally but also a powerful one spiritually. Peace be with you.
Pax and prayer
Your mom was one of the most generous and kind-hearted mothers i’ve ever met. You are lucky to have her as your role model! Your words are beautiful, and your mom must be so proud of you all. You will see her again.
So often when we face difficult situations like you and your family have
had to these past four years, and especially Monday night: we often
question why. Why do bad things happen to good people? Our finite minds only see in the here and now; whereas, our Loving Lord knows the end from the beginning. We are called on to trust that fact!
I recently was given a CD of a song by a gospel group called the Booth Brothers. The last song on the CD is entitled. “Trust His Heart”, and it is a wonderful song with a great chorus that is so uplifting. My prayer for all of you is that the words of this chorus give you peace and hope:
(Chorus) “God is too wise to be mistaken-
And God is too good to be unkind;
So when you don’t understand,
When you don’t see His Plan,
When you can’t trace His hand,
Trust His Heart.
Treasure the memories!
Sam and Sharon
So when you don’t understand,
Your mom may have moved to a new address in heaven but she still remains in the love she gave to you and the love you pass on to your children. Blessings to you all.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I know that you and the boys have wonderful memories that will keep her in your hearts forever. Casting Crowns……Praise You In This Storm always seems to fit for so many occasions. Keep your faith strong. I know that your mom is so proud of you and you have the best angel looking down on you til you meet again.
I haven’t been online for a few days, since I have been out of town. On my way home today, God put you on my heart and I began to pray for you. I hope your family is doing well. I will keep you all in my prayers.
I’m here via Kelli’s blog, and I’m a totally random stranger, I know…
But I was in your shoes three years ago next Friday.
I know there are no words right now. I know that the loss of your mother is incredibly excruciating, and I know that right now your brain can’t even fathom that.
I just wanted to tell you from one woman who lost her Mama way to early to another–I am so very, very sorry.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Praying for peace for you.
Nicole, your tribute to your mom is beautiful.
Noah asked me who your mom would meet in heaven…and said she would love it there, since no one is sick. I have to agree with Jo about the simple understanding of a child.
Know that we are praying for you and your family.
So sorry to hear the news Nicole. Your family will be in my prayers. Let me know if you need ANYTHING…a meal, babysitting, anything!
I am soooo sorry. And I am praying for you tonight. I have been there and know the feeling, the numbness of it all.
Thank you, Father, for Jesus.
I have been on vacation and just got back and was catching up on your posts. I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions of this roller coaster ride that you have been on. You have an amazing family and I think it’s wonderful that your mom got to be a part (even if it was short) of all three boys’ lives and she got to see so many wonderful things happen with her adult children. Love and prayers for you and your family.
We are so sorry for you and your family’s loss Nicole. You will be in our prayers as you journey through this time in your lives.
Much love,
Tiff for the Nevil Crew
I’m sorry to read this. I hope that things are going ok for you emotionally since losing your Mom. I can only imagine how hard it is to be raising your children and not have your Mom to talk to. I am very touched by your faith and acceptance. My own mother is very ill and battling breast cancer currently. It reminds me how every day is such a gift. I don’t let anyone leave me anymore without a hug and a kiss. You just never know if it will be the last moment on earth with them! Maybe that is a little morbid of me, I don’t know, but really – in the end, we don’t know when our time to go home will be. And I agree with you 100%. We all definitely get to go HOME! – sending love and a hug
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