The Bennett Birth Story

Warning: there is some alluding to graphic events in this story, though none of it is really gross.

A while back, I promised to tell the story of when Bennett was born. It’s a slow news day around here, so here’s your laugh for the day.

Before Luke was born, I made it clear that in no way did I want the actual birth of my child recorded. Let me just state that for the record.

For Bennett’s birth, I was scheduled for an induction where they could call me anytime after noon. We took Luke to his sitter Megan’s house for the day. We went home to wait. And wait some more. Mind you, I could only have water or jello anytime after 7am. They called at around 5:45pm to come in.

By around 7, my IV was in, and I had already requested an epidural despite not being in labor yet. Things went pretty well, with the pitocin kicking in pretty quickly, and me being in labor by about 9:30pm. I had to wait about 45 minutes for my epidural, which was ugly (the waiting, not the epidural. I heart epidurals. And anesthesiologists. They rule.).

Bennett’s labor went much like Luke’s, so much so that we joked that Luke must have left written instructions in there about how to freak out your parents before you’re born. Bennett’s heartrate repeatedly dropped, and my epidural-paralyzed body was rolled side-to-side to try and alleviate the pressure on his umbilical cord. Like with Luke, the doctor had to use the vacuum extractor. As we were getting ready for all of this, I said to Matt, “Get the video camera ready for when he comes out.”

Everything went well; Bennett was born with the cord wrapped twice around his neck, but his first apgar was good and there were no complications.

Fast forward to the middle of June, two months later, when I was using the video camera to record something Luke was doing, and the tape ran out. I sat in the living room and rewound it back to Bennett’s birthday, so I could see what my sweet newborn looked like. I got back to Easter, which had been about a week before Bennett’s birth, and watched Luke hunt Easter eggs.

The absolute next scene is Bennett’s head crowning, I kid you not. I nearly fainted there on my living room floor, where I was sitting. There’s no “Oh, here we are at the hospital, ready to have a baby,” or, “Here I am in labor!” No. There’s me, giving birth. I screamed at Matt, “WHAT IS THIS?” and probably some other stuff that I can’t remember and shouldn’t have said in front of the children.  I know I said something to the effect of, “I told you to record him after he was out!!”  And Matt remembered for sure what my words had been: “Get the video camera ready for when he comes out.”  He said he thought that was strange since I’d been so adamant about NOT recording Luke’s birth, but hey, I was about to deliver so he didn’t argue. 

And now, we have the most amazing video that I can never record over!  The tape carries a large sticker that says “WARNING: LIVE BIRTH” on it, lest it fall into the wrong hands at some point.