Sweetness

A couple of months ago, I watched my niece Ava for a couple of days while her regular babysitter was away on a trip. Ava’s big brother Will goes to a preschool/daycare, so that left Ava in need of a place to hang out, and we were lucky enough to have her here with us.

Jack Henry LOVED this. It was really fun to see how interested he was in everything she did, and how he took care of her and talked to her. When everyone’s together it’s so loud, but with just the 3 of us at home, he got to play the role of big brother, and he was diggin’ it.

The first day, when we put Ava down for her afternoon nap, Jack Henry insisted on reading her a story. I explained that 15-month-olds don’t always do well with books, but he gave it a good try and she cooperated for half the book, which pleased him to no end. When she got too fidgety, we put her in the pack-n-play with her paci and blanket, and naturally, being in an unusual setting, she started to cry.

We snuck away, and sat in JH’s bedroom, finishing up his story. She cried for 2 minutes tops, and then quieted down and talked to herself for a few minutes before falling asleep. In my eyes, that is as good as you can ask for in an unfamiliar situation.

The second day, as it was time to settle her down for a nap, Jack Henry looked at a flap book with her while I got the bed and room ready. Jack Henry hugged her tight, and told her good night, and I put her in the pack-n-play. She started to wail immediately, and Jack Henry’s face fell…he was sad for her. But as we moved out of the room and closed the door, he started to cry himself.

I walked him down the hall to his own room, and let him cry out his empathy tears over Ava’s sadness. I explained again why she was doing it, and that she was fine and he would’ve done the same thing at her age.  Poor guy.

It’s interesting and fun to see him in new situations, where he’s the big kid. I love that he has so many little cousins (6 of them 3 and under, with 2 babies on the way in May and July!), so he learns how to be more than just the baby of the family!

Interesting…

Per the child who reported this to me:
The mark on his jeans made by pen was an accident.

Yep. That looks just like an accident to me.

Confused.

As background: people are always saying “Bennett is a Pals” (my maiden name is Pals for those of you who don’t know) because he is practically my clone at age 7.

Today, Jack Henry and I are finishing up shopping for what we need over the next couple of days. As we headed out, I said, “oh, I’ll need cheddar cheese to make Mac and cheese for our Pals Christmas meal.”

Very matter-of-factly, JH said, “So, just you and Bennett will be going to that?”

Me: “Why?”

JH: “Well, you and Bennett are the only Palses in our family.”

Me: stifling laughter, explaining what “Bennett is a Pals” means…

Apparently, We’re Raising Alex P. Keaton.

This is Jack Henry today at his preschool Christmas program. {side note: this is our final preschool Christmas program. Sob.}

Evidence he’s Alex P. Keaton despite having never seen an episode of Family Ties:

1. He chose his own outfit. For real.

2. He didn’t want to tuck in his shirt, and I wanted him to, so I offered him a quarter. He wagered back with 2 quarters. Deal.

Love him!

The Elf on the Shelf Returns After 1-Year Hiatus. Read All About It.

If you’re on Pinterest, you’ve no doubt seen the millions of cute, creative ideas people are using with the Elf on the Shelf. I would see them and think, oh, that’s cute, and wish I had Pinterest for inspiration several years ago when we started with JoJo, our elf.

JoJo was a gift from Matt’s mom several years ago, and for the first few Christmases, we used him faithfully. It was fun, Luke and Bennett weren’t freaked out by him (Jack Henry was too young to know) and his ability to watch them and fly to Santa at night, and Matt and I mostly remembered to move him every night. On those nights he didn’t move, we just made up something about how he must not have had anything to report to Santa that night, so he stayed put.

Sometimes, though, our lazy elf would stay put for a couple of days. The last year we had him out (our first in this house), he didn’t even show up until close to Christmas, and even then, didn’t do a very good job.

Which, I think, is primarily why last Christmas, JoJo stayed suffocating in his box. I was tired of sucking at moving the elf. Plus, Jack Henry didn’t make a peep about it, and neither Luke nor Bennett believed in Santa, so it seemed unnecessary.

However, last week, I decided to get him back out. Jack Henry has an elf at school that just showed up on Wednesday, and he told me all about it. He was so excited that I decided we should do it again. One more time, at least.

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Because I may tell him about Santa after this year. Yes, I know he’s 5. And I know some of you right now are thinking I’m crazy or stupid, and I’m fine with that. Please know that these are just my thoughts, and no reflection on what I think other people should be doing.

The truth is, I’ve struggled for years with the idea of Santa. We’ve always kept Santa’s gifts pretty small, and we’ve never talked about the naughty/nice aspect of Santa, though I did once use the Elf to try and bribe Bennett, in the thick of his “rough years”, which *shockingly* didn’t work (Katie wrote an awesome post about the Elf and behavior modification that I LOVED). I hate the lying to my kids that keeping the story of Santa involves. I’ve probably also mentioned this before, but I also hate how when my kids make a Christmas list, and I’d talk about how Matt and I spend money conservatively through the year and we can’t (and WON’T) buy them everything they want, they pull the “I’ll Just Ask Santa” card.

Last Christmas was our first with 2 boys not believing, and it was still magical and amazing and fantastic. It wasn’t sad or lacking.

But here’s the kicker for me, and why I’m considering telling JH fairly soon: several weeks ago, we were preparing a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. As we were deciding what to put in there, Jack Henry said, “Why doesn’t Santa just bring those kids what they need?”

It’s difficult to really teach your kids how to be the hands and feet of Jesus when they think that a make-believe character can deliver toothbrushes and soap to kids in third world countries. And though I gently explained that just like Santa only brings him one or two things from his list, he can’t bring kids everything they need and want, no matter where they live.

But really, I hate that answer. So much. If I want him to grow up to know that we are called to care for the poor, that it is our responsibility, then I want to be able to fully teach him that now while he’s so impressionable.

So that brings me back to the elf, which we are having fun with again this year. Going out with a bang? Maybe. But it’s making the older boys smile and wink at me, and Jack Henry gasp, when they walk in and see JoJo playing Candyland with Buzz Lightyear, Sheriff Woody, and Mack Truck!

For now, it’s a fun game of hide-and-seek, while I work out this inner conflict I’m having.

(for an incredible blog post that REALLY got me thinking last year, read this, The Christmas Conundrum, and psst…take a look at that advent calendar! Look familiar?)

He’s Still Little

I hope you’re not sick of hearing about Jack Henry…he is just providing the most blog fodder, and if you can’t tell, I’ve been in a bit of slump.

But I’m going to turn that around!

So often, I forget that he’s just barely five. I’m sure it’s some combination of the following:
-he’s the youngest, so he acts older at five than the others did at this age
-none of my kids are babies anymore, so gone are all of the diapers and bottles, etc., which also means…
-…all of the boys are pretty self-sufficient. I help with shoe-tying and stuck zippers and the like, but daily they dress themselves, etc.
-Jack Henry is reading and writing like the other boys did at kindergarten or older

Case in point for the last reason in the list: at his school, they aren’t allowed to bring in a food treat for school to celebrate their birthdays (too many allergies). Instead, they all bring in a little trinket to give their friends, like a sheet of stickers, fun pencils, etc. I thought it would totally annoying to get trinkety junk all of the time, but parents have been extremely creative in their little gifts!

This week, JH brought home a little ziploc with a stack of plain yellow post-it notes, one of those push-up pencils, and a big yellow eraser. This gift has provided so much fun for him…he’s never used post-it notes, and it’s clear that he loves them!

See? When he writes out stuff like that, asking me for help spelling the hard words, I forget that he’s a preschooler.

Last night, though, I got a reminder.

Sitting on my lap getting ready to say nighttime prayers, he discovered that his fairly-new little Webkinz stuffed dog had a big hole in its belly. If you’ve seen us anywhere the past few weeks, you’ve seen this dog…Jack Henry absolutely loves him. His eyes filled with tears immediately, even as I was already assuring him I could fix it. *SIDENOTE: over the years, my boys have had lots of Webkinz stuffed animals, and they’re seriously the worst-made piece of junk stuffed animal ever. I’ll bet I’ve fixed every one of them we own.*

Bennett immediately got out of bed and headed for a basket of stuffed animals to show Jack Henry how I’d fixed one of his, and how it turned out just fine, which was so sweet, since Bennett, of late, is not exactly warm and fuzzy towards this brother.

I jokingly said, “Hey, I can be just like Doc McStuffins [new Disney Junior show he loves] and fix him right up for you!” which made his silent tears turn into actual crying. Ugh…this was not going well.

I asked what was wrong, and he hugged Waffle (yes, that’s the tiny stuffed pug’s name, a joke to go along with a Webkinz pug Luke named Pancake years ago) and said, “But I love him. What if you can’t fix him?”

So sweet. That’s a preschooler’s response to a ripped stuffed animal!

He was asleep last night before I could get it fixed, but I went in and tucked Waffle under his arm while he snoozed. He’ll wake soon, and I can’t wait to hear how happy he is to have him back.

Voting: A 5-Year-Old’s Experience

I went to the polls on my own today for the first time in a long time (remember when Jack Henry thought we were going boating?:)), after first helping out at the older boys’ Kids Voting event, which was fun.

After lunch bunch was over, I picked Jack Henry up from his preschool, which is also a polling place. He offered the following (and retold it to his brothers almost verbatim an hour later):

“Voting is important, but you have to be 18 to really vote. Today, we voted on snack. It was graham crackers versus animal crackers. It was a close race, but I barely won, and we had graham crackers today. But look on the bright side: tomorrow we get to have animal crackers!”

So to all of you whose candidate may not win tonight, look on the bright side: tomorrow, there will be animal crackers.

“What? Girls Can Mow the Lawn?”

“You never told me that!”

This for real came out of Jack Henry’s mouth this week when he saw a middle-aged woman mowing her yard. He still didn’t believe me when I told him that I’ve mowed our yard several times (not to mention at both other houses we’ve owned, plus when I was growing up), even doing so once this past summer. And even now, he’s not sure I’m telling the truth.

—–

Sunday night, my friend Kelli walked into our small group meeting after dropping her daughter at church for choir practice. She congratulated me on our upcoming adoption (which she knew was not on our radar) – she’d heard from another mom at church that her son, who is in Jack Henry’s class, had told her that we were adopting.

Um, NO. No we’re not. I know many families who have adopted and are planning adoptions, but that’s not us.

I was panicked after that, thinking he’d possibly announced it to his class, but so far, no other moms have said anything to me. I literally woke him up when I got home from small group to ask him about this, and he said that he’d told his friend C that he wanted us to adopt. Which makes sense, because he’s said that to me before (that he’d like to be a big brother).

So whether he said he wanted to or that we were, C understood that we were, and excitedly told his parents about it after church.

We have talked a lot about adoption. The older boys, obviously, have a much better handle on why people adopt, etc. Jack Henry always just catches the bits and pieces that make sense to him. Which explains why he thought, if we adopted a girl, we should choose one of his cousins.

Insert conversation about orphans and orphan care.

Never a dull moment.

Challenge, Revisited, Take 2

In 2008, I wrote about Bennett’s minor sensory issue regarding clothes. It was minor in the realm of OT/diagnoses/treatable stuff, but for us, it was majorly life- and sanity-disrupting.

In 2009, I wrote a follow-up post, discussing how far he’d come in a year’s time, and how little his sensory issue interfered with daily life.

In the years since I last wrote about this, Bennett’s just gradually gotten over more of his little sensory quirks. I’d say the remaining one that I have to pay attention to is socks, which I buy for approximately a million dollars at Stride Rite since he’ll wear those without any complaint. He’s not a huge fan of his Chuck Taylors, but he wears them to church without a problem. He’ll now wear athletic pants (and actually prefers them), and he can layer shirts or wear a collared shirt, even though he doesn’t prefer them.

Tonight, though, as I looked at a picture of my boys from Trunk-or-Treat night, and saw Bennett in his costume, I almost cried.

Let’s talk about what he’s wearing (we can talk about weirdo Luke’s getup in a minute):
1. 2 shirts, long-sleeve under button down
2. 2 shirts TUCKED IN
3. Cleats
4. Not his normal socks
5. A beard

2008 Nicole would have laughed at 2012 Nicole if she had the audacity to suggest this was possible.

I truly think I have his love of baseball to thank for some of this. He loves it enough to wear cleats (he has this cute little ritual when he puts them on at home before practice or a game, where he runs a few laps around the house to “break them in” every time), he loves it enough to wear tall, thick socks, and he loves it enough to tuck in his jersey. And all of that has helped with the everyday stuff, especially over this last year.

I think he’s always going to be a little quirkier than most about his clothes, but that’s ok. Quirky I can handle.

—–

Now let’s talk for a second about Luke and his costume.

When Matt suggested that he be a baseball player (because I love Halloween and dressing up, but I don’t love spending a bunch of money on it), Luke asked if he could be Brian Wilson. Matt and I thought that was pretty clever, and I felt like we could pull together a costume for not much money and in the 2 days’ time we had left to do it. Not to mention, friends on Facebook came through for us with Giants gear!

We went to the Halloween store, where I had to have my boys put on blinders to shield them from all of the slutty costumes in every aisle, and we found a black beard that was acceptable. Bennett was going to be Brian Wilson, too, but Luke wasn’t thrilled that B was taking his idea, so when we saw a full brown beard (called the “Hungover Beard“), I suggested that he be Jason Motte instead, and he was excited about that.

So Luke got to be Wilson himself.

That hair was crazy to do, but it was fun. A whole can of black hairspray to get it that dark, and then 3 serious hair/head scrubbings to remove it all…there are still some tiny flecks, but it’s fine.

And we get to do it all again on Wednesday night!

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I didn’t want to leave out Jack Henry. He’s a cute little Obi-Wan Kenobi who doesn’t want to carry his light saber, lest it interfere with his candy collecting.

Salad for Dinner

I was worn out tonight by dinnertime, so I made the executive decision to pick up Pizza Hut after dropping Luke off at cross-country practice.

I got home with Bennett and Jack Henry, put pizza on their plates, and added a salad to the side.

First, Jack Henry said, “Give me more lettuce, please, so that I can be healthier than Bennett.”

And then Bennett said, “I’d like more lettuce than that, too. Just because.”

I don’t know where I am, or who these children are, but I’m staying here.