When Mother’s Day rolls around each year, I try to fight the urge to focus on how many years it’s been since we last celebrated with my mom, and try hard to stay in the moment around here in my role as Mom.
For the record, it’s been 5. Each one as sucky and as beautiful as the one before.
In choosing to focus on the here and now, we had a really fun day. It consisted of:
-church
-a hike in Castlewood
-delicious leftovers from Cake-n-Steak last night for today’s lunch
-major tree trimming that was supposed to be minor tree-trimming, but all of the work is done
-a quick run to the mall
-one of my favorite games with the boys, throwing pop flies off the deck for them to catch
-gifts from my boys: 2 maxi dresses that I wanted (plus Matt being super cool about how much I’m shopping lately to get new clothes that fit!)
-a Wii Sports Resort Tournament
-capped off by sushi for a girl who hates seafood (it’s so delicious: just avocado, cucumber, rice and pink soy paper – not a bit of seafood in sight!) and the 2 hour finale of Revenge.
And in reflecting on the past, this quote from an unlikely source: Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone, spoken by Dumbledore to Harry about Voldemort:
He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign…to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin.”
*It should be noted that this is the polite, blog-version of what I’m thinking. A night with girlfriends and a pitcher of sangria might yield rawer, not-as-nice wording, but the sentiment is the same.*
Mike Jeffries, the CEO of Abercrombie, had a little interview published last week explaining why his stores don’t carry anything above a size 10 (yes, a size TEN, and let’s be honest, it’s going to be a lean size 10) in women’s clothing: he doesn’t like fat girls.
If you’ve been paying attention to A+F for any of the past 10+ years, you know they’re not opposed to controversy. Overly- sexualized ads featuring teens, inappropriate styles in their children’s line…the list goes on. This is not a company out to promote family values, and this is not a CEO who has minced words about who he wants shopping at his store.
Let me give you a few excerpts from past and current interviews:
“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis (the interviewer, summing up his statements) said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”
“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,” he told Salon.
Mmmmkay. This is a 61-year-old man saying these things. Not a 14-year-old girl. And just for the sake of the rest of this post, I encourage you to click HERE and HERE so you know what the man who is saying all of these things looks like. I’m going to keep it as polite as I can by saying he was likely never a model, and leave it at that.
I get that I am nowhere near the target audience for Jeffries’ store: a 35-year-old mom. Teens and 20-somethings are his target, but guess what: your, and my, children are, too. Which means that because it’s my money, I AM his target. Of course, he’ll never see a dime of my money, not only because of who he is, but because his clothes are ridiculously overpriced. However, I have purchased a shirt from the resale shop for Luke that was Abercrombie, and here’s where it is now:
I don’t want my kids wearing the logo of a company that promotes hate and superiority.
Now, it’s foolish to argue that obesity isn’t a huge problem in America. But it’s a health problem…that’s why the issue deserves attention. Not because a pompous, aging CEO of a company doesn’t want imperfect bodies in his clothes. And let’s talk about that for a minute: when the target audience is teens, who are at an age when they are critical of their bodies already no matter what the size, what does this tell them? I cringe thinking of that beautiful teen girl, so incredibly self-aware, hearing this man’s cruel words.
My biggest issue, though, is that it’s no secret that being overweight is a primary reason kids are bullied by their peers. And here we have a grown man – a freaking GROWN MAN WHO KNOWS HE’S BEING INTERVIEWED – encouraging this exclusionary behavior, going so far as to call out “cool kids.”
So to those “Cool Kids” out there, let me have a word with you for a minute: there’s nothing cool about making other people feel like they’re less than you for any reason. Don’t let a guy who has shown you exactly how uncool he is have another dollar of your hard-earned money. And if you’re “cool” enough to work at an A+F store? Pound the pavement, kiddo, and find another company to work for. This guy isn’t worth it.
I’m disgusted by this sad excuse for a man, and I sincerely hope that you are, too.
Soooo…we did the Color Run this morning. Matt and I and a good portion of our small group, plus about 20,000 of our closest friends and neighbors gathered in downtown STL to run/walk a 5k* and get doused in powdered color. Sounds fun, right?
Well, it really was. The weather was crappy (50 and drizzling the entire time), but that totally did not stop us from having a great time. The atmosphere is fun and getting covered in color and looking ridiculous was a blast.
pre-race, all clean and happy
post-race fun!
However.
Because of the rain, we knew that the color would likely stain worse than it does on a typical day. When we got home, Matt showered first, and texted from upstairs, “You better pray hard you didn’t get much pink on you.” When he came downstairs a bit later and I saw why he said that, I got a little nervous…his neck and head still had dark stains on them, even after being thoroughly scrubbed.
pretty awesome, right? i actually loved the green/blue streaks down my ponytail!
And my hair had a LOT of pink in it. I started having flashbacks to 5th grade and my punk-rocker Halloween costume, complete with pink sprayed hair. That stayed pink for a couple of weeks.
I quick headed to the shower, bringing along Dawn dish detergent when my friend Robin suggested that it helped. I scrubbed and scrubbed my hair with 2 different shampoos AND the Dawn, and it was quite evident that the pink? Wasn’t going anywhere.
In a panic, I texted Kelli, consulted Matt and his mom, who was our super-helpful household manager while we were traipsing around downtown getting colored cornstarch shot at us, and eventually decided that I needed to enlist the help of Anne, my amazing hairstylist, because I seriously looked like a drug addict. (Psst…if you need a new stylist, call Anne, and tell her I sent you! You don’t have to wait for a hair emergency to call her .)
more than slightly concerned at this point, right before my appointment. the color is all in blotches, and it’s all over my head.
I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say that a) there was a LOT of laughing at the salon, with everyone in disbelief that the Color Run could do something like this to my hair and b) even with their products and mad skills, my hair was still orange/pink in spots after a few tries at removal.
Eventually, Anne was able to lighten the color up enough that she could highlight and lowlight my hair, fixing the problem spots, and getting it looking like a normal non-Color-Runner’s hair again without damaging my hair. Thank God.
after 3 hours of work! phew!
Since getting home tonight, I’ve learned this fun information from googling Color Run hair stain: you’re supposed to coat your hair (particularly if it’s light-colored) with olive oil or coconut oil before the race, or completely cover it. Obviously, had I even remotely thought this could be a problem, I would have done one of these things. I recommend that if you’re considering doing a Color Run, YOU DO THEM ALL. (Reportedly, you can also try ketchup or OxiClean for removal from hair, too, which I didn’t try, but have very little faith that they would’ve done anything to remedy the situation.)
Share this with the blondes you know who might be doing a Color Run, and save them some drama, okay?
*More on this later. This 5k was the impetus for our major lifestyle change around here, and it deserves more than this post about my hair issues.
Real-life conversation in the van today. If you’re young and dreamy about what lies ahead for you as a wife and mother, you might not want to read this.
Matt: “Do you know what tomorrow is?”
Me: {thinking} “April Fool’s Day?”
Matt: “Yes, but that’s not what I’m thinking of.”
Me: (channeling my former Catholic-school girl) “Uh, Holy Monday?”
Him: “Is that a thing? No. It’s something you love.”
Me: (with excitement, thinking he’d checked our shared Google calendar for tomorrow) “Oh my gosh, is it restaurant pizza day and I don’t have to pack lunches?”
Him: “No.” And he didn’t say it, bless his heart, but I’m sure he was thinking something along the lines of “You are so lame. When did you become this person who gets that excited about potentially not packing lunches?”
2. There is one good thing about winter if you’re a girl.
3. A snow day would be totally welcome after 10 days of spring break.
4. I like snow shoveling.
5. Every time it snows, I feel like I should take the kids sledding or play outside with them.
those are my pots for planting my container garden, which i really hope to be doing in about 3 weeks.
Answers:
1. True, but any good Midwesterner knows it ain’t over til it’s over, and snow doesn’t care if it’s spring. I remember a snow flurry morning in late April one time in central IL, because my mom was having a garage sale that day.
2. True. Everyday leg-shaving goes away for me in the winter months, and I love that (Matt maybe doesn’t so much, but oh well). As soon as it’s spring and legs are bare, it’s everyday shaving. (Allergies are truly the only bad thing about spring in my mind…leg shaving is annoying, but a very distant second to that.)
3. Um, false. Love the boys, and we’ve had a GREAT spring break, but I’m a girl who craves routine, especially after a 10-day break. However, judging by the amount of snow we have so far, and how much longer it’s supposed to snow, I’m mentally prepping for another day of family fun.
4. True! Great cardio, a change of pace from a regular workout, and you can tell that you’ve accomplished something. Score.
Addendum #1: My back doesn’t love shoveling very much, though.
Addendum #2: Matt, please don’t read this to mean I wouldn’t love for us to own a snowblower.
5. Majorly false. I feel like it’s my responsibility to take them sledding once a winter if we get enough snow, and I already did that on the last big snowstorm. I am happy, however, to help them get suited up to play outside. But with the NCAA tournament on, the 2 older boys don’t want to go out, and Jack Henry is always the most reluctant to play in the snow so he doesn’t care, either. Fine by me.
As parents, we’re constantly forced to make decisions about what we want and don’t want for our families. What’s right or wrong for us.
Quite a while ago, Matt and I decided that our kids weren’t going to do sleepovers (outside of staying with family members, of course) for the most part: we’ve made an exception for one family we know very well, but that’s it. I know that makes us unusual, and for me, I just don’t care how rare it is. It’s what’s right for us.
And honestly, our boys have not expressed displeasure at our decision in the least yet.
However, it’s still fun to sleep in a sleeping bag in the basement or living room when you’re a kid. Occasionally, Matt will “camp out” downstairs with the boys, or put the tent in the backyard. However, we knew it wasn’t going to work over spring break (inside or out, as it’s currently 28 degrees), so the older two boys took matters into their own hands this evening and decided to sleep downstairs. Jack Henry was not only invited, he planned on sleeping down there, too, until the very last minute when his eyes brimmed with tears and he changed his mind (I actually love reminders that he’s still little, because he seems more like a big kid every day).
I snuck down a few minutes ago, turned on a light behind me, and got this quick pic to remember it by…
SEVERAL weeks ago, I started mentioning to Matt that I wanted to take the boys somewhere for a long weekend for spring break. For whatever reason, he kept dragging his feet about making a commitment to this, and I lovingly, patiently waited until he decided he was in (insert eyerolls, lots of sarcasm here).
When it was all said and done, it was nearly a last-minute trip, at least in this planner’s eyes. Late on Tuesday night we solidified our plan, which was to leave Thursday when Matt got home from work and drive up to Chicago and stay three nights. Oh, and we weren’t telling the boys about it, so it could be a surprise.
Can I just tell you how hard it was not to spoil the surprise, even though it was just 2 days? I had so much packing and planning to do and had to be so secretive about it, but we pulled it off!
Here’s the video of us telling them what was up…I knew the second they saw the DVD player hooked up in the van, they’d be confused…
Aunt Heidi and Uncle Jeff, I hope you feel really special right now
The first 20-30 minutes of the trip was spent telling them what we planned to do, and nonstop excitement and chatter. So fun. This included lots of talk about watching the Illini/Indiana Big Ten Tournament game the next day, which was being held in Chicago (the boys asked immediately after that video ended if this meant we were going to the game). Tickets had long-ago sold out, but Matt was holding out hope for scoring (relatively) cheap standing-room-only seats on StubHub. However, we didn’t let the boys know this; we told them our plan was to drive by the United Center in the morning so they could see where the game was, and then head up to Lincoln Park to BWW to watch the game.
Obviously, we got into Elmhurst (where our hotel was) really late, so we got everyone to bed as quickly as possible. First thing in the morning, Matt was online seeing if tickets were available. They were, and barely under what we decided we were willing to pay! He printed them out and presented them to the boys at breakfast…lots of celebrating followed, as you might imagine!
Only Jack Henry was less-than-thrilled about our non-seats…we got in the United Center right when the doors opened so we could claim a good standing spot, so our total time at the game was 3 hours+. He sat on the floor and asked when it was going to be over a million times, and the Illini lost, but it was still totally worth it. It was such a fun experience to be at the Big Ten Tourney, and one that the older boys will certainly remember for a long time!
We spent the rest of Friday afternoon having lunch at Pockets and then traipsing all over downtown in a steady, cold rain, until we were freezing, drenched and crabby. We spent some time recharging in the van on our way to see Aunt Heidi, Uncle Jeff, Lucy and Rockit dog, so by the time we got to their condo, everyone was in a good mood again. We walked to a bar & grill a couple of blocks away and had a fun dinner with family to wrap up our night!
Saturday’s agenda was to see Wrigley Field (just a drive-by) and my old apartment (no one cared but me), and then head down Lake Shore Drive to Hyde Park for the Museum of Science and Industry. By some miracle, we literally crossed over the Chicago River AS it was being dyed green for St. Patrick’s Day…like we could see the green swirling in the water! So cool, especially because it was something we hoped to see, but knew that we’d have to go out of our way later in the day to make it happen.
The Museum of Science and Industry: love, love, love. Would definitely recommend to anyone with kids 4 and older, or even just adults. Tons of great stuff to see, lots of buttons to push, a huge variety of neat exhibits. We saw the new Animal Inside Out exhibit, which prompted alternating “ewww” sounds and hilarious laughter (there are a few human specimens – all male, by the way – in addition to animals).
The rest of Saturday was spent driving to Schaumburg {during which time I enforced “mandatory napping or you don’t get to swim in the hotel pool tonight,” which was glorious and one of my best ideas all weekend} to go to Ikea and then have dinner at Portillo’s, which was, of course, delicious, and the only meal all weekend that pulled me off my diet.
The boys all got to swim, but I bowed out gracefully when we saw that the pool was FULL of people: primarily unsupervised children age 7-15. Our boys didn’t care, and swam for a bit before bed.
Sunday morning wasn’t quite as early a wake-up, and I was shocked when I texted Matt from the fitness center to come join me for breakfast and got a reply that everyone was still in bed. At nearly 8:00am! This is simply unheard of in our family, which means, I guess, that we sufficiently wore them out over the weekend.
We had one more fun thing to do, though, before leaving the Chicago area, and that was stopping to visit our friends, the Kellys. I love what Karen said in her post: so good to see your BFF in real life, and know she exists outside the virtual world we use to stay connected. Our kids just pick right up where they left off nearly 2 years ago, the last time they saw each other, which is just so fun to see.
After a too-short stop with them, we headed back to STL a bit nervous about the weather, but only encountered a brief stretch of sleet before it turned into all rain for the remaining 100 miles or so.
Here’s a photo-dump to wrap things up!
hotel breakfast…actually, quite good!
group shot at the united center
excited fan
copycat excited fan
he’s an original :)
my favorite lunch
our rain-soaked reflection in the bean
at cousin lucy’s condo (first visit there for the boys!)
not a great pic, but lucy was imitating jack henry after dinner and it was so cute
a framer for their room – particularly because they rarely have a nice moment together right now.
at the museum of science and industry, watching baby chicks hatch. like literally one came out of its shell while we stood there waiting.
the boys were super excited to get inside the full-size jet!
afore-mentioned mandatory naptime.
ikea fun!
waiting for dinner at portillo’s, one of the boys noticed this sign, and that it was their initials! i had to explain who LBJ was…
Sigh. Posting here had become quite irregular, has it not?
I WANT to write, if only to continue documenting the boys’ childhood. Finding time is getting more difficult, which is funny, considering I started this blog (and blogged so regularly!) when the boys looked like this:
And NOW I’m having trouble finding the time?
I’m going to blame being 5+ years older and needing more sleep than I did before.
But, here’s a little look into life around here lately:
*The first Very Jane deal went really well…I was so pleased. And apparently, I’m crazy enough to do it again, because the magnets will be back on March 26, with LOTS of new chevron prints! Tell your friends
*Winter will not go away (though, today is going to finally be a break from the cold!). The boys and I discussed Wednesday that it’s definitely the longest season, even if it’s really not in terms of days.
*Dieting is hard work, but it’s worth it. We’re making some real lifestyle changes, I feel, and it’s pretty exciting! I’ve lost 10 lbs since I started about 7-8 weeks ago. I’m definitely getting stronger, and clothes are starting to feel a bit bigger. I don’t necessarily have an exact goal weight in mind just yet, but it’s lower than what I weighed when I got married. Anyone have any suggestions on short (I’m talking like 20 minutes) workout DVDs that you like?
*To go with dieting, I’m back to meal planning. Just one week at a time, and it takes a little time to do it, but it’s so worth it. Why oh why do I let myself fall off the wagon with this?
*Baseball season is almost here for us…practices are at 2/week right now, and will in the near future kick up to 5/week total. 2 of 3 kids’ games are on the schedule, and I honestly can’t even fathom what some of those days are going to look like. Someone please remind me to continue with meal planning.
*Jack Henry reminds me so much, every day, of Luke at 5. He loves to draw, he loves tape, and he makes sound effects all the livelong day.
*Bennett recently announced that he hates hand-me-downs. Sucks to be him, I guess. I’ll have to be more vigilant about pointing out the things that are new-for-him in his wardrobe, and also show him the things I pick up secondhand for Luke, so he doesn’t feel so ripped off.
*Luke is just so grown up. Don’t misread that as mature; I think he’s rather immature for his age (AND I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT), but we’re starting to deal with big-kid stuff in regards to friends and school. Ick.
I’ve been getting up early a couple of mornings a week to do The Shred (seriously, be amazed. 6 weeks in, and this is still happening.). Last night, however, I fell asleep reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and forgot to set my alarm. Alas, I wasn’t awake early enough to work out before needing to get everyone ready for their day.
I mentioned to Jack Henry that what I might do is get ready to do my workout, take him to school, and then come home and do it.
Immediately, he said, “You mean you’ll like have your headband on and stuff when you take me to school?”
Me: “Well, yes, and my workout clothes.”
JH: “Sooo, everyone at my school will see you like that?”
Me: “Yeah, would that be embarrassing or something?”
JH: “Uh, yeah.”
So that’s it. Really? I’m embarrassing?
i look somewhat like the 4-years-older version of this (this pic is from when i did that 5k training in ’09)
This might sound strange, given that his brothers are 10 and {holy cow, almost} 8, but they’ve NEVER acted embarrassed by me. Ever. Like literally, last week when I was sick with the stomach virus they gave me, and I had to run up to school to pick them up, I wore faded black yoga pants and socks with my moccasins INTO SCHOOL to get them (mind you, I felt like I was dying, so I cared not what I looked like). Neither of them said a word, or looked at me funny, or anything.
I could cry.
But I won’t. I’ll laugh. Because I remember my mom being embarrassing sometimes, too (oh, how I wish I could call her and tell her this happened!). It’s part of life, and I was given a reprieve by his brothers for a good number of years.
Well, I’m off to put on my embarrassing headband.
PS…my awesome reader Jackie, whose memory is much better than mine, remembered that Jack Henry had previously not liked me in a headband…here’s the proof! Thanks, Jackie…you rock, and this made me laugh!!
There will never be any need to write a biography of my life.
Someone could simply copy the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and he’d be good to go.
I came downstairs to quickly reorganize a couple of things for 2 reasons:
1. My sister just moved out, meaning her storage stuff is no longer on our basement. I was going to put a few things away and
2. My friend Katie has started an awesome resource in her basement. She’s collecting clothes and shoes, infant-big kid, boy and girl, so that when foster families get placements, they’ll have somewhere to go for necessities for the kids they’re taking in. I knew I had a box of clothes I could give her, so I was getting that out.
Should’ve been simple. And yet, I turned it into this:
Not pictured are the 2 large boxes headed to Goodwill, the 2 trash bags, and the heap of recycling.
I’ll be glad I did this when it’s done, but this wasn’t really the plan for the morning…
PS if you have things you’d like to donate to Katie, leave me a comment and I’ll put you in touch with her!
.)
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