Category Archives: out of the mouths of babes

Glimpse.

Real-life, unembellished, overheard conversation in the van between 2/3rds of the brothers, who I’m not going to identify for reasons you’ll understand in a moment:

Thing 1, giggling: “Remember that time when you scared me, and you were supposed to be in the shower so you were naked and you were wearing a Luigi hat and holding the top of the blue Lego box and an old stick?”

Thing 2: “Oh, yeah. That was hilarious, man!”

Ser.i.ous.ly.

Note to self: monitor shower time better.

Out of the Mouths of Babes, Part 29

I’ve got to think this is the last installment of this series. I kinda thought the last one would be, but I have one more little-kid quote that I want to remember!

jh basketball

Jack Henry always still says that he’s “usual to” something. Instead of “used to” something.

For example: this morning he was pouring the newly-opened giant carton of goldfish crackers into a couple of large plastic storage containers, and then he was filling a couple of the smaller, snack-sized containers to be taken to school. When he went from pouring into the big ones to pouring into the small ones, he didn’t quite adjust the pouring rate correctly, and overflowed the little container.

His response: “Oh, I was usual to pouring into the big bowl! That’s why these spilled.”

Not correcting it. It’ll be gone soon, I’m sure.

For a fun blast from the past, these old posts cracked me!

One, Two, Three

The 3 Piggy Opera

It’s a kindergarten tradition at my boys’ school to have the kindergartners rehearse (for weeks!) and perform the 3 Piggy Opera in the spring. Today was Jack Henry’s big day!

He was playing the role of the Brick Pig, and he nailed it, as you’ll see in this short, amateur video shot by yours truly, who was also foolishly trying to balance her camera in her other hand.

The other boys were NOT interested in solos at this age at all, so it surprised me that he wanted it. I was so proud :)

i love when he spots me in the audience!

i love when he spots me in the audience!

this expression...

this expression…

post-play hug for mom.  and proof that i can barely still lift him!

post-play hug for mom. and proof that i can barely still lift him!

—-

This morning, as he was getting dressed for the play, he started to cry. I asked what was wrong, and told him he looked great.

“It’s just…it’s dance party day* and I don’t want to wear a tie and my Chucks!”

Understood. Change of clothes for after the performance made everything just fine.

*afternoon celebration for good behavior

In a Boy House…

- Bennett read a book from the school library called “300 Weird Facts about Animals” or something like that. There were 5 facts that he relayed to the family; every one of them involved poop. For instance, did you know that wombats poop cubes? Well, now you do.

- Thursday night, Matt and I had dentist appointments…please join me in celebrating no cavities this visit, which used to the norm for me, but since 35, has definitely not been. Anyway, there was a new dentist there, a young, unmarried girl. We were talking Olympics, and how the boys like sports with amazing feats (slopestyle skiing and snowboarding, halfpipe, skeleton, you know, stuff where there’s a good chance of serious injury or death), and how they’d been enduring figure skating when it comes on. I said something like, “I think they’re pretty much just always waiting for someone to fall.”

Which, I realized after I said it, based on her reaction, made them sound like horrible little monster children (keep in mind: she has no children, AND she’s never met mine. I am making a stellar first impression). I said, “They’re really nice kids…and they’ve definitely come to appreciate the athleticism it takes to skate and jump, but they aren’t fans.” Know your audience, Nicole.

Analyzing this later, I think that it’s not that they want to see people fail (I mean, I seriously hope not), but they love America’s Funniest Home Videos, which is filled with unexpected failure caught on tape, right? And they see people doing these amazing stunts, and expect it’s going to go wrong.

-7:30am on a Saturday during the Olympics = US Hockey.

-This text exchange:

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I love them. So much. But I could definitely go for less talking about poop.

Making Me Smile Today…

It should be noted that a mere 19 minutes after posting this to the blog, the iPad was taken away indefinitely due to how rudely the boys were treating each other. Figures.

1. My boys’ school. It’s just such an amazing place for them to learn and grow. I’m happy I get to be involved there.

2a. The Subway worker thinks it’s weird that I’ll gladly eat an egg white sandwich at lunchtime. She was new…I’ll give her a break for thinking it’s weird AND not knowing how to make a sandwich. She’ll learn.

2b. That an egg white sandwich sounds good to me. A little over a year ago, I wouldn’t have considered that a decent breakfast/lunch choice.

2c. Wearing new jeans.

3. Jack Henry is so pumped for his 100th day celebration tomorrow. He doesn’t know what they’re doing because it’s a surprise, but “It’s going to be good. I can feel it.” was what he told me.

4. Watching Luke and Bennett take on leadership roles at school. Every day, B and his friend Ty walk the kindergartners who are car-riders down to the lobby of the school. Luke has several roles, but his daily bus safety patrol is a favorite.

5. #4 makes me especially happy because, you know, they don’t always show me their best side…I’m the one who gets to constantly ask them to stop talking about farts and remind them 100 times to brush their teeth.

6. JH’s Cardinal-fan-summertime snowman project at school. Adorable.

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7. The boys’ snacktime discussion of how good the special effects are in Back to the Future, “since it was from 1985 and stuff.” Also, that they call each other McFly.

8. Calories left at the end of the day = a glass of wine while sitting on the couch with Matt watching Nashville tonight.

Spelling Bee: Prep.

Luke and Bennett took their district’s written spelling bee test on Monday. Luke found out today that he made it into the school-wide oral spelling bee, held next week (Bennett didn’t do too shabby on the pre-test, either; 17 of 25 words, which were the same for 3rd-5th graders. He needed a 21 to move on.).

Needless to say, Luke’s pretty excited!

He brought home the study guide, a list of 450 words of varying difficulty to study. We spent some time this afternoon going over part of the list, and when Matt got home, Luke asked him to quiz him on a row of words, too.

When I quizzed Luke earlier, on one of the words, he asked me for a definition. The word was “ailment.” I answered, “Illness.” He said ok, and spelled it correctly, telling me that he wanted to be sure it wasn’t something to do with beer, and therefore starting with “ale.”

1. It totally reminded me of a real spelling bee.
2. Our kid knows that ale is a type of beer, and that’s what his first thought was. Is this normal?

So when Matt started quizzing him, I retold the story of Luke asking for a definition. Which made Matt chuckle and say, “Yeah, do you want me to use that in a sentence?”

The word was “nigh.”

Matt’s sentence: “See if you can spell the word ‘nigh.'”

Clearly, he’s going to be really helpful with this process.

We’re working from the middle area of the sheet…here are some others as they get harder:
verdure
epizootic
dirndl
elegiac
revanche
importunate

So…yeah. I’m going to take this as seriously as Luke wants to, and wish him the best on Wednesday next week as he competes!

1501.

Today is the 6th anniversary of my blog, and this is my 1501st post!

I don’t have my next Boston post ready, but I do have these funnies to share:

1. Yesterday Luke ran a mile for PE (they do this several times a year). I asked how it went, and he said, “Well, I’m not my best when it’s this cold (it was about 38 yesterday morning during PE for him). I didn’t have my best time at all.”
Me: “Well that’s ok! You won’t always run your best time, you know. How fast did you run it?”
Luke: “7:39.”
Me: “Um Luke? I’ve literally never in my whole life run a mile that fast!”
Luke: “Eh. It’s fine.”

For the record: my fastest mile since getting in shape is around 10 minutes, and I’ve never been able to replicate it.

2. I know I mentioned on Facebook, but I don’t think I did on here, that Bennett’s baseball hat for his team from last summer stunk SO BAD that I almost couldn’t be in the van with him with the windows up. His gear bag stunk, too, from it. So near the end of the summer season, I washed it. I was nervous about what might happen to it, but I had no choice. Thankfully, it came out fine, and while the smell didn’t completely vanish, it was significantly better.

Luke and Bennett had to get fitted this week for their baseball uniforms for next spring (I know…super dumb. 6 months is a long time in kid growth potential. But I digress…). When the lady asked if he already had a hat, I said, “Yes, but he’s getting a new one for next year,” and Bennett flipped out.

“But MOM! That’s my HAT. I KNOW it’s dirty and smelly but it shows that I play hard. I’m NOT getting a new one.”

Me, in that quiet-but-firm-I-am-not-messing-around-here voice: “Yes, you are. You can dirty this one up, too.”

For real? How can you be so attached to something that smells that bad?

3. Jack Henry and I were walking through school today after the bell rang. 3 of his classmates (all girls) ran over to him and said goodbye, and then one asked him for a hug. Then the next, and the next, and I’m not even kidding, Jack Henry said, “Come and get it!” All four of them stood there hugging each other. It was adorable. And freaked me out a little bit.

Thank you, friends, for reading along and sticking around for so long. I’m so grateful. And the next post will be a fun giveaway that I’ve done every year for the past several, so you’ll want to come back and enter to win!