Category Archives: parenting

Glimpse.

Real-life, unembellished, overheard conversation in the van between 2/3rds of the brothers, who I’m not going to identify for reasons you’ll understand in a moment:

Thing 1, giggling: “Remember that time when you scared me, and you were supposed to be in the shower so you were naked and you were wearing a Luigi hat and holding the top of the blue Lego box and an old stick?”

Thing 2: “Oh, yeah. That was hilarious, man!”

Ser.i.ous.ly.

Note to self: monitor shower time better.

On Kids and Media.

Clearly, time is not standing still for me, keeping my boys young and innocent and not wanting to own technology. Those days are long gone.

For quite a while now, I’ve wanted to come up with a contract to use with the boys that spells out exactly what our rules for usage are. There have already been guidelines in place; now, I’m going to have them sign a contract. Using the internet, iPad and iPod are a privilege, and they’re going to have to follow our rules or not use them at all.

I fully realize that people are all over the place on kids and media, and that I fall under the extremely protective category…this will be too much for some of you. However, I know too much, from real-life situations of people I am close to, to let this be an area in which we’re lax. I haven’t yet, but will also be adding NetNanny or similar to our computer.

I attended a presentation by Jim Burns from HomeWord earlier this spring called “Creating a Media Safe Home” that was really informative. Sidenote: if Jim Burns is speaking near you, go listen to him. He’s a very engaging speaker, full of knowledge about parenting and marriage, and very enjoyable to listen to.

More than anything, though, it got me thinking about all the things that need to be addressed in terms of media usage, mostly regarding purity and honesty, and also giving Luke (the other 2 aren’t old enough for this yet) an understanding of the legal ramifications of his actions online. And yes, kids as young as Luke (11) are old enough to know this, because they’re old enough to be charged with a crime. A contract isn’t enough; kids need to know why these rules are to be followed, and unfortunately, that often means educating them on some of the darker truths about the internet. Some parts of parenting just totally suck.

I used a phone contract in the packet of information from the presentation (a colleague of Mr. Burns’, Doug Fields, came up with the contract, I believe) to guide me as I wrote, and then Matt and I just discussed a few other key points that we included. Here it is in list form, and here’s a PDF of what the boys are signing: Media Usage Contract

1. Mom/Dad can check the iPad/iPod at any time, read texts, and view anything you’ve searched, because they will always have all passwords. This is not a violation of your rights.
2. You may not use the iPad in your room…it may only be used in shared family spaces (kitchen, living room, office).
3. You are allowed to use your iPod in your room for listening to music only.
4. You are not allowed to join any social networks (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Kik, etc). We don’t care how many of your friends are allowed to.
5. Do not take inappropriate pictures or videos, or send them to anyone. Ever. If Mom/Dad wouldn’t approve, it’s not a picture/video you should take. Even if your brother dares you to do it.
6. Likewise, do not look at anything that you wouldn’t look at if Mom/Dad were sitting next to you.
7. Don’t just Google something you are curious about. Ask Mom/Dad. That’s what we’re here for.
8. We will discuss all songs and apps before downloading.
9. You are not allowed to play any games that allow for online interaction/chatting (ie Clash of Clans, etc). This is non-negotiable.
10. No YouTube videos without permission first.
11. Time limits given by Mom/Dad are to be obeyed…when the timer goes off, time’s up.

So, there it is! Thoughts?

End of the Year 2014

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that the one year all three of my boys were in the same school building is already over.

The last several weeks have flown by in an absolute blur, and even though it’s the end of elementary school for Luke, I haven’t really been too sappy about it. He is SO READY for middle school, and I can see that. I’m excited for what next year has in store for him. Plus, I still have so many years in our elementary school that it doesn’t feel like too much of an end.

Jack Henry has been dreading the end of school. He couldn’t even make it down that rungs of his bunkbed ladder this morning before the tears started flowing. His teacher is an absolute gem, and he just hates to leave her.

Bennett has also had a fantastic teacher, one that Luke had for two years, and we like her so much we’re going to her wedding this summer! If I’m being honest, though, Bennett has been a bit of a stinker the last few weeks, and I am anxious to get him home and on our schedule. He just wants to be a baseball player, man. Sigh.

All of that to say, I’ve been doing fine. Barely any tears. Mainly just really, really excited for summer to be here. Pool. Baseball games. No crazy-early mornings. No lunch packing.

And then, this morning on my voicemail, a choked-up message from Jack Henry at school. I was actually in the school building for a couple of hours doing some work, but didn’t get the message until later. He had forgotten his yearbook; could I bring it up to school?

I ran home to get it, and had to fight back tears when I walked into the kindergarten pod. All four kindergarten classes were out in the pod having a dance party to the Frozen soundtrack. It was loud and fun and so full of joy. Kindergarten is such a happy place, and I just hate that it’s over.

However, I am so ready for a break in routine. Bring on summer!

The 3 Piggy Opera

It’s a kindergarten tradition at my boys’ school to have the kindergartners rehearse (for weeks!) and perform the 3 Piggy Opera in the spring. Today was Jack Henry’s big day!

He was playing the role of the Brick Pig, and he nailed it, as you’ll see in this short, amateur video shot by yours truly, who was also foolishly trying to balance her camera in her other hand.

The other boys were NOT interested in solos at this age at all, so it surprised me that he wanted it. I was so proud :)

i love when he spots me in the audience!

i love when he spots me in the audience!

this expression...

this expression…

post-play hug for mom.  and proof that i can barely still lift him!

post-play hug for mom. and proof that i can barely still lift him!

—-

This morning, as he was getting dressed for the play, he started to cry. I asked what was wrong, and told him he looked great.

“It’s just…it’s dance party day* and I don’t want to wear a tie and my Chucks!”

Understood. Change of clothes for after the performance made everything just fine.

*afternoon celebration for good behavior

A Little Catch Up

This is long, I know. But it’s real, and everyone tells me I’m going to want to remember these times, so I know I have to write it down or it’s gone. That said, the last 4 days have looked a little like this:

Thursday
3:30am: I am awakened by strong thunderstorms that eventually turn into a tornado siren going off at…
5:30am: Wake boys and gather everyone in the basement. Turn on TV and realize that the tornado is nowhere near us, and send everyone back to bed. Which is kinda dumb because…
6:15am: it’s time to wake up for the day.
ALL DAY LONG: rotation of storms/hail/quiet for a few hours/more storms, knowing that very strong front is on it’s way around 7pm.
6:45pm: Tornado sirens go off well ahead of the impending storm…it’s still 45 minutes away, but we return to the basement, and stay there through…
8:20pm: seems like it’s over. Our front yard looks like this:

that's black mulch under there.

that’s black mulch under there.


8:30pm: boys are settled in their rooms
8:31pm: siren goes off again. Everyone to the basement.
8:40pm: all clear. Go back to bed.
8:50pm: Jack Henry is scared (for the first time in his life, I think) of all the sirens and storms, and doesn’t want to sleep alone. Executive decision made by me that he will instead go sleep in Bennett’s new room with him in the double bed. This is greeted by B with far less resistance than expected…he’s probably relieved he’s not alone either.
8:51pm: Luke decides he’ll just sleep on the floor in B’s room, too. Everyone, miraculously, just goes to sleep.

Friday
Normal day, really.
7:30pm: pick up coffee for Matt and a latte for me (serious turning point in my life: I can handle drinking a latte now despite my life-long absolute hatred of all things coffee!) at Starbucks drive-thru. Barista calls me sweetheart twice, which makes the 2 boys in my car giggle, and B ask, “seriously, why would he do that?”.
7:45pm: Matt’s mom and dad come into town to join us for part of the weekend! We meet at Luke’s game in the Chesterfield valley. Oh, it’s approximately 40 degrees and windy, making it feel like less than that.
9:50pm: game over. Absolutely frozen despite layers of winter coats, scarves, and blankets.
10:45pm: boys in bed. Time for drinking wine and chatting with Ron and Jo.

Saturday
1:00am: go to bed. Yeah. We stayed up kinda late but it was worth it.
6:20am: alarm goes off. I say to Matt, “Can you even imagine how tired we’ll be when we get to come home tonight at 10:30?”
7:30am: out the door headed to Forest Park for the Read, Right and Run Marathon, in a caravan with B’s friend Ty and his mom. For the first and only time (because it’s K-5), all of our boys are runners! 6000 kids are running (split into 2 groups) this year, and the organization of the event has clearly gotten away from them.
9:45am: boys finally nearing the starting point, so we head to watch near the finish line.
10:15am: we’ve seen Luke and Jack Henry cross the finish line…but where is Bennett?
10:30am: MASS CHAOS is the only way I can think to describe trying to get to the meeting spot for the boys after the race. I finally think to text my friend Robin, who was standing across the street from us, to see if she had seen B cross the finish line…the answer is yes, AND it was before Luke (crazy…I had no idea he could keep pace with Luke!)
11:10am: finally back to the van with everyone we came there with.

my 3 medalists!

my 3 medalists!


11:45am: pick up lunch at Which Wich, get home in bad traffic, eat, change, B opens his birthday gifts from his grandparents, and it’s out the door!
cool gifts from nana jo and papa ron!

cool gifts from nana jo and papa ron!


1:00pm: B and Matt to the ballpark. SIDENOTE: B’s team is comprised of 3 2nd-grade boys and 9 3rd graders, and they are playing in a league of 4th graders this year.
1:30pm: everyone else leaves – Ron, Jo and Luke to the ballpark, JH and me 30 minute away to his practice
2:00pm: B’s 1st game starts, JH’s practice starts
2:10pm: I get a quick jog in before…
3:00pm: pick up JH, head to ballpark
4:00pm: 2nd game starts
6:00pm: Ron and Jo head back to Effingham; we get dinner at BWW with some families from B’s team
8:00pm: game 3 of the day begins. Hard-fought, but the 3rd loss of the day.
10:15pm: home. Everyone to bed…but not before Bennett does his daily push-ups. Not even kidding…this kid just played baseball all day (and ran a short race in the morning), and he won’t let a day lapse without doing his push-ups. That’s dedication, and I wish I could say I was that devoted to keeping myself strong!
10:30pm: that should say “everyone to bed except the mama”, who has baseball pants to scrub and muddy coats to wash.

Sunday
12:15am: I go to bed.
8:30am: L, JH and me to church; Matt and B to the ballpark.
11:00am: all of us at the ballpark. B’s team loses game 4 of their tournament seeding games, making them the 3 seed (of 3 teams).
11:45am: celebrate B’s birthday with his teammates! B is grouchy, sore, and hangry (hungry+angry, it’s a real thing, especially in this family)
12:00pm: lunch at McAlister’s, during which time Matt tells me that Bennett’s baseball pants were filthy BEFORE the game even started because of the warm-up pop flies he’d been throwing him. I could’ve done without that information.
1:00pm: B’s mood has improved significantly after lunch and a couple of stern lectures about family and sacrifice yadda yadda
2:00pm: game 5 of the weekend). Truly, in terms of the tournament, the only game that was a must-win (to get to the championship game. And win they did! They kill it, and Bennett has an awesome game at the plate: 2 huge hits (a single and a double) and 3 RBIs.

i love watching this kid run the bases, and his dad coach him all the way around!

i love watching this kid run the bases, and his dad coach him all the way around!


ready to hit a double

ready to hit a double


batted in by the next batter after his double

batted in by the next batter after his double


4:00pm: championship game starts. They try hard, but lose 11-1, and are so proud of their 2nd place finish, especially in a league where they’re the youngest by far!
5:00pm: I bring JH and L, who are dirty and tired, home from the fields to shower and get ready for a sitter. I’m headed to small group at 6:00pm.

Matt and B come home at 7:30 and crash for the night, I get home at 8:45pm and our whole house is sound asleep by 9:30pm. I’m pretty sure that hasn’t happened since we had a newborn in the house.

Today, these kids are exhausted after their first full baseball weekend of the year, and so are Matt and I! Even having it be his birthday couldn’t get B up and moving very quickly this morning. We’re looking forward to a simple celebration tonight, and more sleep.

All About Bennett (Early Birthday Edition)

1. As a follow-up to this post on his coughing issue: it’s asthma. I’m certain. He’s been on a steroid inhaler for 2+ months now, and we’ve broken out the rescue inhaler twice and used it for a maximum of a week each time when he started a little bit of a cough. No daily coughing anymore! It’s such a relief to feel like we at least know what it is. Now, he can’t stay on this steroid inhaler forever, and will likely go off it after allergy season passes. So it will be interesting to see how it all unfolds after that, but at least now we know.

2. His head wound has healed so beautifully I can’t believe it! Just a perfect pink line all through his eyebrow, which is sure to fade with time. It’ll be slathered in sunscreen all summer, but he always is anyway.

3. On Saturday, Bennett had his first practice baseball game, and during warm-ups, somehow took a ricocheted flyball to the lip. Gotta love getting a call from your friend (and coach’s wife) who’s already at the game, alerting you to the fact that you may see B coming back from the concession stand with a bleeding lip and ice pack, but that she’s checked it and it doesn’t need stitches. Sigh.

4. We decided, rather rashly for our family, to convert the guest bedroom into a bedroom for Bennett, which means all 3 boys have separate rooms now! Bennett was all for this, and he will gladly give up his room and bunk with Jack Henry when we have company, which was the deal we made with him upon making the switch.

Of course, he chose Illini as his theme, which is really cool because we had all kinds of stuff to go in there. Take a little look around!

uncle jake...recognize that old poster??

uncle jake…recognize that old poster??

reading corner

reading corner

inside the closet...my fave ikea storage unit (expedit) with some old illini crates.

inside the closet…my fave ikea storage unit (expedit) with some old illini crates.

view from the door

view from the door

nightstand...hayley made that frame years ago! cutie-pie little illini bros pic from 2008.

nightstand…hayley made that frame years ago! cutie-pie little illini bros pic from 2008.

2 old tees stretched over a canvas on the left; a cross-stitch of the chief that matt's mom made for him in college.

2 old tees stretched over a canvas on the left; a cross-stitch of the chief that matt’s mom made for him in college.

I have to admit, even more than when Luke moved into his own room 2 years ago (very few changes were made to decor), this felt like doing a big kid’s room for the first time. Which made me a tiny bit sad, but it was also really fun that he had ideas and input.

5. As of next Monday, he’ll be 9. NINE. One year from double-digits. Halfway to leaving for college. Birthdays now bring about a sense of urgency in me…there’s still so much I want him to know, and the years to learn those things are just flying by. And when I get reflective about Bennett and who he is and what it’s like to parent him, I get kinda weepy…I don’t know, I just love him so much, and parenting him has been challenging beyond what I envisioned and made me grow and stretch and I’m thankful for that and just hope we’re doing what’s right and good for him (and his brothers, of course) all the time. Does that make any sense?

20140331-084722.jpg

He’ll spend the weekend leading up to his birthday playing baseball, and his love for the sport combined with his love for his team makes that the perfect way to celebrate.

2nd season of t-ball ( sadly, i have no pics of him playing his first season!)

2nd season of t-ball ( sadly, i have no pics of him playing his first season!)

he'd just turned 4 here.

he’d just turned 4 here.

There will be lots of little celebrations over the coming days that I’ll be sure to document!

JH Loses a Tooth!

Whew…MIA blogger here. Between redoing our guest room to become Bennett’s room (pictures coming soon!) and spring break, and the incredible amount of time Matt and I invested in watching the first season of Friday Night Lights on DVD, writing time has been non-existent.

Seems the easiest way to ease back into blogging is to do a little milestone post.

A couple of weeks ago, Jack Henry lost his first tooth! He was SO excited to have a loose tooth, and he worked on it quite a bit. He even had me try to pull it several times but never wanted me to pull that hard.

there it is...moved way over to the right from its original location!

there it is…moved way over to the right from its original location!

IMG_1576

Until, of course, the inevitable “it’s so loose I can’t eat anything” stage got here. Then, he asked me again to try to pull it. And on the second tug, I did! (reminder: I still HATE pulling teeth, but I hate dangling-out-of-the-gums teeth more, so I suck it up and do it.)

We ran to the bathroom to rinse, because unfortunately it was a bit of a bleeder. Which, of course, I know is normal…he was a little freaked out, kinda giggling/almost crying for a couple of minutes while rinsing and spitting. And then his face turned an all-too-familiar-to-me shade of gray, so I swooped him up (thank God I work out with weights!) and brought him to the playroom floor, where he kept himself from passing out.

I suggested texting Dad from the iPad while I got him some lemonade to celebrate, and that helped him come around pretty quickly. I’m praying this was just rookie nervousness and not a sign of things to come.

Here he is, minus one!

and there is that big gap!

and there is that big gap!

I can’t wait to see how big his permanent teeth are!