The First, But Certainly Not the Last

Yesterday, Bennett made me cry. He does this more often than he realizes, but yesterday? I cried right in front of him. He’d thrown a big fit right before naptime, and he told me that he wanted a different mom.

I know, I know, he’s only 3. He doesn’t know how much words can hurt someone. And he can’t possibly really mean what he said. But he did drag it out, crying when I told him that he can’t have a new mom, and when I said that he would probably miss Dad, Luke and Jack Henry, he said, “I don’t want them to go away…just a new you.” Ugh.

When Matt came home from work (I called him bawling about this mid-afternoon, during a rare nap from Bennett), he asked Ben what had happened. He didn’t want to tell him, so I said I would if he didn’t. I told Matt about our afternoon, and Matt said, “You don’t really want a new mommy. You already have the best.” Which was answered with vigorous head shaking by Bennett.

I joked, “There isn’t a Mommy store where you can just go pick out a new one!”

He then came over to me and wanted me to hold him, which I did and which prompted me to say, “See? You do love me,” which was again answered with a vigorous head shake.

He tearfully then said, “I want a new one without any.”

“A new mom without any other kids?”

“No. A new mom without any rules.”

So, if you’re a mom and you’re reading this, and you happen to not have any rules, I have a *delightful* 3 year old boy who would like to come live with you.

So far today, there’s been no mention of new moms. Of course, he’s not been in trouble yet today.

8 responses to “The First, But Certainly Not the Last

  1. He will realize someday that he has an incredible mom!

  2. he has a wonderful mom.

  3. Ouch, ouch, OUCH! You know the real truth of the matter. Like Paul Stolwyk used to say, “Sin wrecks everything.” Ben is just expressing what his sinful heart is thinking. You are there to provide correction for their little sin natures. You’re getting in the way of that sin nature. I say, “Good job, Nicole!” 🙂 I’m sorry for the hurt, though.

  4. During my years as a daycare provider aka “babysitter”, I think I was very strict. Some of my “kiddies” were somewhat spoiled at home. Their Grandparents would say after the summer off, that the kids need to get back to Sharon’s. The kids always liked coming to my house. Kids really like rules and structure even if they complain. That’s my story and I’m stick’in to it. Your do’in a good job, sounds like ole Ben needs a Mom like you.

  5. My oldest makes me cry sometimes too. Sometimes you just can’t help it. You get beat up with all of the fits and crying and whining and your thick skin can get worn down. Plus it’s the age, at least I think so.

  6. You already know how I feel about this; I’m glad I was here when you called last evening (btw, I hope you had a good time shopping). I’m so proud of you that you didn’t stoop to his level (like I probably did when mine said stuff like this!) & tell him sometime you wish he had a different mom too!!

    I agree completely w/ everything Sharon said. Kids don’t know it, but they really DO want/need what you & Matt are providing – and as the mom, you get so much of the fallout. It seems like such a slap in the face when kids come up with these hurtful remarks, but it’s just the only way they know how to deal w/ their own little world.

    God made it so kids rely on their parents for absolutely everything, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental. I can’t say it enough: you are both doing an exceptional job, and Nicole, you especially are in all my prayers as you do the most important job there is. I think your boys are the luckiest in the world!!

  7. Good thing God knew which mommy he needed! Glad God gets everything right the first time! Thanks for sharing! I’ve been told similar things like, “You’re not the mom I wanted!” But I relish those times they hug and kiss me and say, “I love you,” for no reason at all– just out of the blue.

  8. Tell Bennett we don’t have any rules, unless he does something wrong.

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