If You Give Nicole a Party to Clean Up After…

(All you parents of young children out there, think along the lines of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” or “If You Give a Pig a Pancake” as you read this…)

If you give Nicole a party to clean up after, first she’ll feel like taking a nap. Instead, she’ll stop being a baby and start cleaning the kitchen…

…she’ll stop because if she doesn’t put the 2-pound barrel of cheese balls out of sight, she’ll gain 5 pounds by Tuesday. She’ll divide them into smaller bags and hide them in the pantry, kicking herself for not giving them out as party favors as guests departed.

She’ll get back to the cleanup, wishing all of these stinking dishes were disposable (and biodegradeable, of course!).

She’ll finish up the kitchen cleanup while her sweet husband vacuums the living room, and she’ll want to go through Jack Henry’s new gifts.

But before she can do that, she’ll gather laundry, so it’s sorted and ready for tomorrow, and for the new clothes that he got to be washed first thing in the morning.

Then, before she can get to the stack of gifts, she’ll decide that the playroom needs to be reorganized a bit, making room for new toys.

She’ll start on the bins in the organizer, making 3 piles: things that are in the wrong place; trash; and donate.

Of course, she won’t stop there. She’ll move on to the toy basket, adding to the 3 piles and putting things where they belong. She contemplates for a moment that she is very anal about the playroom being organized, and then gets over it. She nets a whopping 2 toys to donate and 2 huge handfuls of trash, AKA McDonald’s toys. [She then goes to the trashcan the next day to pull a *very.important.paper* (how could I not tell????) of her kindergartener’s out of the trash.]

Before loading the toys back in the basket, she needs to vacuum the liner, as it’s filthy.

She finishes vacuuming and empties the dirt cup, but spills a little bit on the floor.

She realizes that she hasn’t cleaned the vacuum filter in a looong time, and she finds that it’s so dirty it’s amazing the vacuum can still pick anything up. So she cleans them.

Then, she gets out the stick vacuum to pick up the dirt spill, since she can’t use the big vacuum with it’s wet filters.

She loads up the toy basket, which is now not-so-overwhelmingly full of toys.

She goes back to the pile of Jack Henry’s presents.

And she feels like taking a nap.

The End.

14 responses to “If You Give Nicole a Party to Clean Up After…

  1. Somehow I missed those books when my girls were little. Or maybe those books weren’t even around then.

    Anyway I saw “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” for the first time in the waiting room of the oral surgeon back in August when I went with Jessica because she was getting her wisdom teeth out. I read the book (silently, to myself) while we waited and I thought it was hilarious! I kept having to stifle my laughter because, really, the book was great! (Ya think maybe I should step away from the computer books and read a bit of fiction now and then???) Anyway, I was embarrassing Jessica so I finally put the book away.

    You did a good job getting all that cleaning done!

  2. I knew exactly what was coming after reading the title of the blog. My kids really enjoy those books. And, you did a great job writing your own.

    It’s nice to know I’m not alone in the way I pick/clean my house. I always get side tracked by other projects and end up doing 10 different things when I just planned to clean one room.

  3. Very clever post. Cute. And I’m glad you forgot to pass out the cheese balls to guests. That’s not what I need either. I also have come to the conclusion, that the worst part of being pregnant during October……is Halloween Candy. 1 bag is already in my belly. And it isn’t even October yet. Help

  4. Too funny! We love those books. Kirk can recite the mouse one from memory…everyone thinks that is hilarious!

  5. Sounds like a very busy day, but thanks for the reminder that I need to get those books for my daughter.

  6. So cute! I get sidetracked, too; however, after about the 3rd detour, I lose momentus and get lost in something more appealing.

    Birthday parties are fun for everyone but the MOBDK (Mother of the Birthday Kid). Just chalk it up to making memories for your family & friends.

    Hopefully, you’re fully recovered, and you & the boys are enjoying this glorious weather! I love fall! 🙂

  7. Funny Nicole. We have similar personalities – I have such trouble with getting sidetracked!

  8. That was great. At least you got a lot done AND had a nap!

  9. I mean I lose momentum.

  10. Thanks Jo! For a minute I though momentus was plural for momentum! After all when it comes to grammar Jo Knows!

  11. what happened to those cheese balls?……..HA HA HA! Great writing idea Nicole!

  12. Nicole-
    This post is so clever! I don’t know how you come up with these cute ideas. I love it! Keep em’ coming.
    P.S. Those cheese ball containers are really good for storage of small toys (like the ones you get at McDonald’s) when you actually finish eating all of them.

  13. Pingback: Monday. « Here’s the Diehl

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s