Like millions of other Americans, I tuned in to the “Jon & Kate + 8” season premiere on Monday night. It’s a show that I’ve watched here and there over the last few years, but not one that I catch every week, nor do I care to. I live in my own circus, thankyouverymuch.
And over the years, I’ve always given them the benefit of the doubt. I mean, we don’t know what they’re really like, so I’ll try to keep my opinions on that to a minimum here. If I were Jon, I’d definitely not enjoy Kate’s nagging/tone of voice. If I were Kate, I’d be annoyed that my husband, who clearly loves our kids, definitely needs a kick in the pants to get things done sometimes. I’ve often wondered about their extended family, but since we don’t know what’s up, I thought maybe the reason that they have virtually no contact with them isn’t because of J&K but rather, because all of the rest of their family is mean or crazy (though I always thought Aunt Jodi was a saint and was disturbed last year when she stopped appearing on the show and there was stuff in the media). It especially annoyed me when people talked about the money they were making because, really, they’re probably just jealous. I always thought, “good for them – if they can stand to have the people in their home like that, maintain a normal-for-them life, and make enough to support their large family, who the heck cares?” Taping was kept to a minimum (per J&K), and the parents were around a lot.
It’s no question after watching last night that this show has totally taken its toll on their marriage and family. The paparazzi follows them everywhere, and it’s quite clear that none of this was happening in seasons past…this is the fallout from Jon’s supposed infidelity (which, really, how can he deny that at this point?). The kids seemed clingy (especially at the party) – or was that just me, reading into the situation too much? All in all, it was just incredibly painful to watch, given that I feel like I know them since they’ve been on my television for years. Even seeing them sitting on the couch separately brought tears to my eyes because it was so obvious how troubled their marriage is. And while I KNOW that it takes two to make a marriage work/not work, I couldn’t help but feel really bad for Kate as she tried to maintain some sense of normalcy for the sextuplets’ birthday party (and then during her reflection afterwards, I was really sad for her).
However, watching a marriage disintegrate shouldn’t be for public consumption. Kate needs to put on her big girl panties, stop production of the show (no matter what the cost, because right now, the cost is her marriage and her children’s well-being), and abandon her book tour. Jon needs to check back into reality and commit to making their marriage work…not just for the kids, but because he made a commitment before God to love this woman for better or worse. And unfortunately, some marriages have more “worse” than others. I’d much rather read in 6 months that they’re making things work than see it happen on t.v., or worse than that, see them go through with a divorce.
There’s just been so much media coverage of marriages failing that it’s making me sick. Especially Christian marriages, where one or both spouses are living a lie (case in point that you can’t escape if you live in the STL area: the Coleman triple homicide). People, wake up: love is not the same thing as lust, and being and staying “in love” is so much more than a feeling you have. My friend Hannah had a beautiful post about what love really is in the wake of her grandfather’s death that I highly recommend.
Now that I’ve spit this out and raised my blood pressure significantly, I’ve gotta go get these boys ready for the day. What’s on your mind this morning?