The One With Two Parts, Part One

As of tomorrow, my oldest son will be considered a first-grader.  This has me freaking out for a couple of reasons.  This post will detail my first reason; tomorrow’s post will be about reason #2 to panic.

To me, this feels very much like the end of a parenting era.  The start of kindergarten was a big deal, switching from preschool 3 days a week to the idea of my boy being gone for half of the day everyday.  But, it was just a half a day…it took a little getting used to, but no big deal.  He still ate lunch here, and spent all but a little more than three hours a day with me.

But first grade? That’s like big-kid old. Full-day-of-school old. I’m totally-in-my-30’s old.

How can he be 6…

L self portrait

…when it feels like he looked like this just a few weeks ago?

L 4 weeks

There was a time when I thought I’d never see the light at the end of the parenting-little-ones tunnel. And now it’s blinding me. Of course, I’m still home in the midst of the parenting-little-ones years, and I’ve got a few years to go. But this feels like new, unfamiliar territory that I’m not entirely eager to explore. I like that up to now, I’ve been the primary influence in his life. With him in school 7 hours a day, there’s a bit of a shift that’s to come, and I can’t say that I like it.

Now, homeschooling’s not for us. And we’re not planning to send him to private school…in fact, I’m very comfortable with our school district and his elementary school. So it’s not that. It’s just that he’s growing up. And while there are great things about that, mostly, if I’m being honest, it sucks.

The good news is that he’s really excited to be first grader. He’s met his teacher (and had lunch with her!) and his classmates, and he’s happy to have some friends in his new class and anxious to get to know some others.  He’s read several books on the summer reading list already, so I think that’s given him some reassurance that first grade won’t be too hard.

I know he’ll do great. I just hope I do, too.

See you tomorrow…(part 2 here)

8 responses to “The One With Two Parts, Part One

  1. It depresses me, too, because i can look back and see how fast everything goes. I really don’t let myself dwell on it when I start to realize that these are my GRANDSONS I’m seeing growing up so fast . . . you just have no idea how much it seems like I should still be your age.

    On the flip side, I am so, so grateful that I have been so blessed with a husband, 3 kids–and now grandkids–and everyone is happy and healthy! I remind myself that it’s sort of an insult to God to get depressed about how His plan’s going!

  2. i’m right there w/ you. i know kenny will only be in kindergarten but it doesn’t seem possible that he could be going to an elementary school. he just can’t be that old.

  3. You made me get teary eyed reading this post….because Andrew is now a kindergartner and I feel like he was just my little baby too. I may have to go through the same transition for kindergarten as you will for first grade. He may have to go full time and that is REALLY freakin me out. I don’t think that’s necessary for kindergarten. Ok, rambled enough. I’ll be thinking about you in the fall when you make this transition!

  4. Amen. Amen to that.

  5. We are totally in the same boat. I was having these same exact thoughts with my son in these last few days of kindergarten. I don’t know if I am ready even though he seems to be. Ugh – this growing up thing is rough.

  6. I remember sending my daughter to her first day of kindergarten. We lived RIGHT next door to the elementary school and on that first day, I watched her walk down the steps and into her classroom. It is about a 75 foot walk from her door to our driveway and, let me tell ya, I sobbed the whole way. Melodramatic? Perhaps. But it was that moment that I realized she was not my “baby” anymore. She was growing up and away and beginning her own little walk through life. I cried all the way to work, and throughout most of that first day. As I now watch her raise her daughter, I am proud and amazed every day. You think your kids tear your heart out with their sweet innocence? Girl…wait till you have grandkids!!! 🙂

  7. I completely understand. Today is Allison’s last day as a first grader! And, she keeps reminding me that she’ll be 8 years old (in November) and in the 2nd grade! She went to full day kindergarten so that was our big transition year. However, in 1st grade she had weekly spelling tests along with nightly homework….math, phonics, reading, etc. Yep…it’s “big kid” school.

    Then I start all over…..in the fall my baby will go to preschool…..

    It’s just so hard to believe how quickly time goes.

  8. Pingback: Movin On Up « The Reis Family

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