As of tomorrow, my oldest son will be considered a first-grader. This has me freaking out for a couple of reasons. This post will detail my first reason; tomorrow’s post will be about reason #2 to panic.
To me, this feels very much like the end of a parenting era. The start of kindergarten was a big deal, switching from preschool 3 days a week to the idea of my boy being gone for half of the day everyday. But, it was just a half a day…it took a little getting used to, but no big deal. He still ate lunch here, and spent all but a little more than three hours a day with me.
But first grade? That’s like big-kid old. Full-day-of-school old. I’m totally-in-my-30’s old.
How can he be 6…
…when it feels like he looked like this just a few weeks ago?
There was a time when I thought I’d never see the light at the end of the parenting-little-ones tunnel. And now it’s blinding me. Of course, I’m still home in the midst of the parenting-little-ones years, and I’ve got a few years to go. But this feels like new, unfamiliar territory that I’m not entirely eager to explore. I like that up to now, I’ve been the primary influence in his life. With him in school 7 hours a day, there’s a bit of a shift that’s to come, and I can’t say that I like it.
Now, homeschooling’s not for us. And we’re not planning to send him to private school…in fact, I’m very comfortable with our school district and his elementary school. So it’s not that. It’s just that he’s growing up. And while there are great things about that, mostly, if I’m being honest, it sucks.
The good news is that he’s really excited to be first grader. He’s met his teacher (and had lunch with her!) and his classmates, and he’s happy to have some friends in his new class and anxious to get to know some others. He’s read several books on the summer reading list already, so I think that’s given him some reassurance that first grade won’t be too hard.
I know he’ll do great. I just hope I do, too.
See you tomorrow…(part 2 here)