If you are male and you stuck around after that title, well, it’s your own darn fault. I warned you. Come back tomorrow…I’ll talk about something less girly. Promise.
Today we are going to talk about something I loathe shopping for, but something that, unless you are a hippie, is an absolute must. In the past, I’ve mentioned jeans in this same manner (however, hallelujah, I’ve found some great jeans at Express), but today, I’m talking about bra shopping.
I have a favorite bra, one that I discovered about a year ago, and it has changed my life. OK, that’s drastic. But, it’s the closest thing to a time machine that I can find, taking me back a few years to my pre-baby look. Cause let’s face it, time might do some damage, but pregnancy really messes up your b**bs (whether you breastfeed or not).
Which lead me, about a year ago, to that famous store in the mall with all the secrets. I’ve had bras from there in the past, but my love (the way they look)/hate (how much they cost) relationship with the store causes me to take a hiatus now and again and try to find a replacement at a department store (more on that later). Anyway, at that mall store, I had one of the most humiliating dressing room experiences ever. About six months after having Jack Henry, it was time for new bras. I had a fairly new girl working with me to find one that I liked and that fit. I told her what I wanted, tried on several, and none were working. So then she gets this bra that “fits everyone,” she gushed. “You’ll love it…I’ve never had it not fit anyone.” Well, I think you can see where this is going…of course, it didn’t fit me. She brought in her manager, who re-measured me, had me try a few more (by now, I’m covered in scratches from taking off and on so many bras), and was stumped. Lucky for me, it was closing time, and I’d had enough humiliation for one day, so I just said I’d be back.
A week or so later, they were having their semi-annual sale, and courageously, I decided to try again. I found a bra on clearance that I decided I had to try…and wouldn’t you know it, I loved it! It was one that they still carried (until very recently…grrr); they were just clearancing out a certain color. However, the here’s the rub: this stupid thing at regular price costs $25. Per b**b. But since I got it on sale for about $20, I bought it, and wanted more of them. Which was a substantial investment.
The whole not-wanting-to-take-out-a-second-mortgage-so-I-could-buy-some-new-bras concept lead me, a couple of weeks ago, to Kohl’s, where they have a huge selection. I hadn’t shopped there in a while for one, and I couldn’t help chuckling at the new Maidenform campaign which promises a “total bust makeover” instantly. Really, right here in the store, they’re going to get a makeover? Impressive. After trying on about 52 of them and realizing that none of them were like my VS ones, I gave up. And went back to the mall.
Where they now have a bra with memory foam. For, of course, around $50. If they remember what I looked like 10 years ago, we’re in business. And I’ll take 3, please.