Mama’s Letter to Santa

This was originally posted December 16, 2008. I’m busy right now and with nothing inspirational to write, this cracked me up to reread, since most of it is still true today. Additional comments from this year have been made in red.

(I TOTALLY ripped this idea off of my funny friend Karen’s blog, so sue me…but first go over and see what her kids are needing for Christmas…)

Dear Santa,

As you know, the kids have made excessively long lists, diagrams, and collages of the things they would like to receive for Christmas this year. Here are a few things that I’m requesting:

LUKE: A healthy dose of hurry-up. That boy is on his own schedule, and while that’s fine some of the time, it doesn’t always work out that he likes to dilly-dally.

BENNETT: Volume control. I’m going simple, here, Santa.

JACK HENRY: He would like his morning nap back, please. He apparently lost it somewhere in the last week and I’m just not OK with that yet. Oh, and if it’s not too much to ask, the ability to sit still during finger/toenail clipping so that it doesn’t always have to resemble a WWE Smackdown event.  Santa – I feel like you really delivered on this last year.  As long as he keeps taking his afternoon nap, we’re golden. This year, he needs to learn how to pee in the potty.  Please let the cool underwear he gets for Christmas make him actually want to try out getting rid of his diaper in the next several months.

MATT: For Charter television to make a deal already with the Big Ten Network so that all Illini games would be broadcast at our house.

ME: Patience by the truckload. A day at the spa. Jeans that fit without showing my butt. Thinner thighs. My 25-year-old-face back. New carpet in the playroom. (CHECK!) That agitator-less washer and dryer combo that I think would make me a better person. A desire to work out. Someone to clean up all of the new toys that the boys are getting for Christmas. A backyard makeover, and we might as well throw in a new front yard as well, since no grass grows there. The ability to get by on 4 hours of sleep a night.

Whew! Sorry, Santa…I got a bit greedy there at the end. I’ll leave the whole list, though, so you can just pick and choose.

I’ll leave the cookies and milk by the little pretend Santa’s workshop decoration, and some reindeer food* for you. I’ve been a pretty good girl this year.


*glitter and oatmeal, sprinkled on the front lawn, and then messed up a bit in the morning.

7 responses to “Mama’s Letter to Santa

  1. That’s great, I wish I was creative enough to come up with my own letter to Santa, just don’t see it happening!

  2. Hey – didn’t you get a new front yard and you did start running this year – i think Santa came through pretty good for you last year… except for the lack of the new washer and dryer – but there’s always next year!

    Love the letter – i can relate to Luke’s slowness – Abby is the SAME way – maybe a “oldest child” thing??!? 😉 (kidding – you are an “oldest” so had to throw that in there – i know Ab gets hers honestly from her dilly dally daddy!)

    • Yeah, Luke does NOT get that from me! 🙂

      The front yard makeover was a COMPLETE waste of money. It still looks horrible, unfortunately.

      And yes, I did start running. But I haven’t in a long time, and I still hate it. I want to love it!

  3. This was funny again! I’m sure you can check potty training off the list by next year! (What WILL you do w/ all that diaper $$?? I know from experience you won’t even notice it.)

    I’m surprised you didn’t just cross out the back & front yard make-over and go for the anticipated new house!

    • We are going out for a NICE dinner when we’re done with diapers in this house!

      I figure that the diaper money will just towards the food budget, which is increasing at an alarming rate.

      I should have thought of that for the house thing!! 🙂

  4. This IS fun to re-read!

  5. amen to the potty training thing. i’ve already warned luke that we will be starting after the holidays.

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