That Sound? It’s My Heart. Breaking.

Friday was a rough one. It started off with me yelling at disobedient kids (that’s effective parenting, let me tell ya), and it got worse from there.

It was Bennett’s last day of preschool. I feel like I just enrolled him, but I guess that was more than two years ago. It occurred to me last winter that he was going to kindergarten in the fall. Kindergarten, people. Required schooling. And he’s my second-born. I swear, it feels like I was just spoon-feeding that munchkin last week.

good story about where this picture came from - coming to a blog post near you.

One of the moms in his class put together a sweet memory book for the teachers, where each kid’s picture and name was on a page along with a note from the child about what they liked best about their teacher. Each of the teachers burst into tears when they got the books, which made most of the moms in the room cry, too. I left preschool crying. And then when I picked Bennett up from school, he had tears in his eyes. It’s been such a good year for him.

We had a birthday party after school, and when I got home there was an email from my friend Mara, with this picture:

That’d be Jackson, Luke’s best friend, and Luke, at a writer’s celebration at school today. Cue full-on waterworks. He’s gone to school with Jackson since he was 3. Leaving him is going to be hard on Luke.

So, I went to school to pick up Luke, and I could tell by the look on his face that things weren’t great. He didn’t exactly look like he was going to cry, but it didn’t look good. He got in the van, and I said, “Rough day, buddy?” And he just started bawling, and said, “I want to stay at (current school).” Today was the day that all of the kids got a letter telling them who next year’s teacher is going to be. Talk about feeling left out. Monday will be even worse; it’s “flip day,” where the kids go have lunch and hang out with their teacher for next year.

Luke’s teacher, who he adores, has assured me that Luke will stay with her (she’s moving up to 3rd grade next year) or he’ll be with some other kids who won’t be back next year for whatever reason. Either way, it doesn’t matter: Monday will suck for Luke.

It’s one thing to endure heartache for your own choices or things that happen to you, but it’s quite another to see your child in pain. I think things will get easier when summer starts and he can get a clean break from his old life/school, but it can’t come soon enough.

10 responses to “That Sound? It’s My Heart. Breaking.

  1. This was hard to read! 😦 I never had to go through this as a parent. I feel bad for them but worse for you. It will be OK, but I know it really hurts now.

  2. Ah man! I don’t know that there is anything worse than seeing your baby in pain like that. It’s pain that is just a natural part of life, but you so want to take it away! And you know in your heart everything will work out, but it sure doesn’t feel that way in the moment. Stinko, stink Nicole. Hope you and Matt can brainstorm something fun and special to take his mind off things. Poor guy!

  3. At least you guys are in your new house and have great new neighbors and know your new school.
    Try all of this with a four year old and seven year old and have to help them say goodbye w/out the concrete things to look forward to yet. To have to tell them we’re bidding farewell to the only schools and friends they’ve enjoyed for the last three years… but only to head into uncertainty? Yuck.
    Needless to say, I feel for you guys.
    And hope you have a fabulous summer with the boys looking forward to their new adventures in the fall!

  4. This made me teary! I cried when I picked AnnaKate up from her last day of preschool on Wednesday….it’s hard for me to know that we will never be going back there or seeing those mommies or teachers again. 😦 Emma still has a week, but I know the tears will flow that day too. I love her teacher, school, and visiting with the other moms at pick-up. She is going to be sad as well. I am with you!!!

  5. Ugh. With lump in throat.

  6. I feel for you, Nicole. And, I totally relate as we are going through the EXACT same things…..only I have no idea where we are going to end up, in terms of a school and neighborhood.

    Today, Andrew started crying and said when we move he is going to have ZERO friends. I assured him about Luke and Bennett. And his reply? “OK, TWO friends. That’s still not as many as I have here.” 😦 Made me want to cry, but I’m trying to be strong for the kids.

    Good Luck.

  7. This made me teary too. Seriously makes my heart hurt. Here’s to a clean break for the big guy.

  8. oh man this makes me sad. but, i’m sure he will quickly jump into summer and have new friends made day 1 of the upcoming school year. like someone else mentioned it will be tougher on you than him. they key…just don’t be too tough on yourself. 🙂

  9. poor luke – that is a hard thing to go through but hopefully in the future, he’ll not only have the friends that he has now but also so many new friends.

  10. Oh, I feel for those boys and for you, Nicole! I can only assure you that they will overcome this and go on to new friends and new experiences. In the meantime…tears.

    When we moved from Riverside, Susanna was going into 3rd grade. She assured us that when she grew up, she was going back to California and she did in a roundabout way. Anna, going into 5th, just burst out crying when she was led into her new classroom. All have grown into fine, well socialized young adults with many friends!

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