Guilt.

Being a mom means that you just have to learn to live with guilt, I’ve discovered. I mean, I think we all try hard to not have regrets in the way we discipline or deal with things, but that just doesn’t always happen.

On Thursday, Jack Henry started running a fever and barking like a seal: croup. OK, no biggie, we’ve done that a million times (if you search “croup” on my blog, 15 posts come up. For real.). I feel pretty comfortable dealing with it, but Saturday morning, after a bad night on Friday night and no improvement during day, which is what generally happens with croup, I felt like Jack probably needed a steroid to get the stridor* under control. So I called our pediatrician’s office to discover that they don’t have Saturday hours in the summer. Super. I debated taking him to urgent care, but that’s pricey, and this was such an easy diagnosis: the stridor was really obvious, and it had been present for 36+ hours. So I decided to take him to the clinic in a nationwide pharmacy chain…the clinic rhymes with “Fake Dare.”

Horrible, horrible decision. We waited an hour and 45 minutes to be seen (I left with JH and drove around a bit while we waited) and then discovered that we were being seen by the absolute most inadequate nurse practitioner who ever graduated. Needless to say, we walked out of there with no prescription for a steroid and her comment that “he was moving quite a bit of air” so he didn’t need a steroid. Please note that I didn’t think this was a life-threatening condition or I definitely would have taken him to the ER.

Jack spent the rest of the weekend feeling pretty miserable, and it didn’t really seem to be getting better.

So finally, FINALLY, today I took him to see his doctor (we actually saw the NP). Immediately, before she even listened with a stethoscope, she said he needed a steroid**. And as an added bonus, he now has an ear infection in the ear that does not have a tube in it anymore; in the Fake Dare Clinic NP’s defense, she did check him Saturday and it was clear. I was totally not expecting that, as he’s not at all had a runny nose, even though I know croup can often turn into an ear infection (but again, that’s usually from all the snot).

He’s also got a bad canker sore, so he’s just a mess. But now, hopefully, he’s on the mend. Our NP gave him a dose of steroid at the office today, and just 3.5 hours later, his breathing is already much closer to normal. I’m mixing up a little concoction to put on his lip to help him not feel the blister so much. And some sleep would do him and me and Matt a lot of good. Hoping that happens tonight.

I’ll leave you with a picture of him from Friday morning, where he fell asleep on my floor after totally freaking out when he woke up really early and couldn’t breathe or talk right.

*crazy-sounding breathing, but not lung related: it’s swelling around the vocal chords that causes it
**thank you, I am not crazy

7 responses to “Guilt.

  1. poor little guy. why is it that they always get sick at night or on weekends?

  2. Hang in there. You ARE the croup specialist, aren’t you? Glad he’s getting better now.

  3. I feel so bad for all of you! šŸ˜¦ Sure hope he sleeps well tonight and continues to improve quickly . . . finally.

  4. Poor little guy. (And praying that you and Matt can catch a good night’s sleep now too!)

    My sister (a nurse) always says that there have to be people that graduate at the bottom of the class in health professions and just squeak by on their board exams. You just always hope that you don’t get one of them when you need care. šŸ˜¦

  5. I still love his lips and I would LOVE to eliminate guilt I have it NO MATTER WHAT! Did I give you that book – “You’re a good mom”? If not, I should. And if you haven’t read it. Do.

  6. Bless his heart!

  7. Wow–brings back memories!!–a side note of the canker sore–if he gets them alot…Trace did all. the. time. until I read somewhere that the probiotics in yogurt act as a natural remedy of sorts. We tried it & he ate one of those tubes of kid yogurt every day for 30 days and regularly after that and very rarely does he get them anymore.

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