Doubt.

This is a post about my hair. And something a little more than that.

My hair looked like this yesterday.

I don’t often curl it. With the exception of the times I was a bridesmaid, a curling iron hadn’t touched my hair in years until last summer, when I thought to give it a try. I’ve curled it just a handful of times since then. I got the idea to try it after seeing Christy Nockels at Hearts at Home last year and realized that I have a major crush on her hair (she happens to have a beautiful voice, too). Plus, it reminded me that I used to have hair like that.

So my decision was: a. wash and blowdry and straighten my hair, like always, or b. don’t wash my hair and curl it instead. Option b sounded easier, so I went with it. And for some reason, as I started doing it, I turned into a 15-year-old girl. Filled with doubt about how my hair was making me look. Was it too big? Too different than I usually wear it?

One of the things that I’ve truly loved about getting older is that I’m just so much more sure of myself and who I am now.  I’m much more aware of what I’m good at, more comfortable with how I look, and I know my own shortcomings.  All things that should lead me to not really care too much about what my hair looks like.  And also lead me to realize that I have been given an abundance of hair that reacts well to a curling iron, and thus straightening it into submission all the days of my life maybe isn’t the greatest idea I’ve ever had.

But, I am a girl.  A girl who lives in a society that is crazy-obsessed with how we look.  I mean, we even decide what kind of day we’re going to have based on our hair, and coined a phrase to go along with it.

My first reaction to this emotion was to laugh…I mean, who am I trying to impress? The captain of the basketball team? ‘Cause I don’t know if he goes to our church, and even if he does, I’m old enough to be his mom.  Truthfully, it was more of a “what will other girls think of it” kind of thought.  In which case, I need to reread for myself that paragraph I just wrote about knowing who I am.  Because I shouldn’t care what they think.

My second reaction was more biblical, insightful.  (And thus, obviously, did not come from me…I mean, c’mon, I’m 33 years old and worried about my HAIR).  I think that doubt is a tool that Satan likes to use to get us to think less of ourselves, and to be less than we were created to be.  When you start to doubt who you are, it’s easy to be discouraged and not live up to your potential, right?

And I think that I’ve been created to do more than worry about what people think of my hair.  So really, I’m thankful for those moments yesterday morning, when I was really lacking in self-confidence, because it reminded me of more important things which are actually deserving of my focus.

PS…I’m still wearing my hair curly today.  And I like it.

13 responses to “Doubt.

  1. I am jealous of hair that has body and holds curl! Mine is the opposite.
    Not that it matters what I think about your hair … but i do like it!!

  2. I never would’ve know that was you from the back. But you’re so right about Satan & the doubts. Good post. Cute hair.

  3. Nicole! Somehow your hair got so long when I apparently wasn’t paying any attention. Either that or the curls really show it off! Nice!

    I’m curious what the boys have said. 🙂

  4. Hilarious to me that you posted this! I have been doing the same thing to my hair recently. Not all the time – I still prefer mine straight – but it is nice to have long enough hair to do something different. Looks super cute on you!!

  5. Does that mean you didn’t wash your hair again today if you are wearing it curly again?
    Seriously, I was not sure it was you from the back until you turned around. I do really like it too:)

    • shhhh…yes, it does, julie 🙂

      i’m going to see how long i can do without it getting gross. i’m pretty sure i won’t have to wash it tomorrow either!

      • Oh my goodness – you have Aunt Dolores’ hair!!! Mom said she only HAS to wash 1 time a week…. me – 2 times a day would be ideal – but i stick to one usually….. geez – lucky duck!

  6. looks great! i need to cut my hair BADLY.

  7. Everything you said is true–that hair & all other appearance issues *shouldn’t* be on our list of things we see through other people’s eyes–but as women, even Godly women, I’m not sure it’s possible to feel that way!
    And with that, I just have to say once again that you have killer hair, and I love this length cause you can wear it straight, curly, & in a tail! 🙂

  8. love your hair, and love your insight/perspective!

  9. I LOVE your hair curly! Funny thing – I tried it recently (finally dawning on me that I’m seeing more celebs with curly than flat-ironed hair) and I’m CONFIDENT it is not me. At all. Plus it took longer. Yours? Go with it!

  10. Your hair looks great! I started curling mine recently too and I was the flat iron girl. It definitely has given me a boost of confidence and a ton of compliments. Some days that is all I need! I like it so much better than my stick straight hair and I would have to agree with you, much more trendy (according to our celeb friends that is).
    Good for you! I think whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself (and I’m sure your hubby doesn’t mind it either :))!!

  11. I love and adore curly hair. I always coveted girls with curls. Still do. So wear those curls proud girl…they look cute!

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