The One with All the Wine.

(title, of course, a nod to Friends, which is on Nick at Nite this week. NICK AT NITE? Are you kidding me? They air old shows. Classics. What’s my beloved Friends doing on Nick at Nite? Gah.)

—–

Leave it to Jack Henry.

After spending a couple of days thinking about our family lore, it’s just fitting that this is my next blog post.

On Wednesday, Jack Henry and I were at the grocery store with a fairly lengthy list. We were shopping at one of our two closest Schnucks stores, and this one is being remodeled…so there’s lots of stuff out of place, which means more walking around the store than usual = long trip. JH will still sit in the front seat of the cart (though removal is getting difficult, primarily due to his size 11 shoes having to make it back through those leg holes) and, naturally, talk my ear off while we shop.

I had on my list 2 kinds of wine: one for us to drink*, and a tiny bottle for me to cook with on a recipe I’m wanting to try. My favorites weren’t on a good sale at Schnucks, so I opted to get the drinking wine elsewhere, but I did pick up a mini plastic bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and placed it in the cart without noticing where.

lucky for him he's crazy cute.

Jack Henry started asking if he could hold it…I told him no. He asked why…I told him because I didn’t want him to. He asked if it was because it was made of glass, because he’s not supposed to touch glass things…and I told him no, it was actually plastic, but that I still didn’t want him just holding it in the cart.

2 minutes later, I was standing a couple of feet from the cart, distracted from what is clearly the never-ending endurance sport of parenting for a second as I tried to concentrate on actually choosing the groceries I’d put on my list. A very pregnant lady pushing one of those car carts with a toddler in the front slowly waddled passed by. I heard Jack Henry kinda start talking to them as they passed, telling them that he was drinking wine. I turned around to see him with the tiny bottle in his hands, tipping it up like he’s drinking it. I apologized to the lady for my little lush, and we scurried away.

Right past an end-cap that reminded him of a question that must have been on his mind, because he immediately blurted out, “Mom? Do you have any more of that Blue Sun at home or did you and Dad drink it all?” Realizing that he meant Blue Moon and wanting to crawl in a deep, dark hole with one of the afore-mentioned beverages, I whispered, “No, Jack Henry, there’s still plenty left, but you really don’t need to worry about that.”

I never even drink in front of him, but because until preschool started 3 weeks ago he’s always done the shopping with me, he’s well-informed about our purchases.

Let’s hope he doesn’t bring this up at school.

*I feel like I need to defend my drinking here by telling you that it’s one glass of wine, max a couple of nights a week. Harmless, I swear.

15 responses to “The One with All the Wine.

  1. Our new church that we are going to has a big secret…everyone LOVES a little adult bevvy from time to time. It’s ok girl. We ARE grown ups….as evidenced by Friends being on Nick at Night….sigh…

  2. When my youngest was in 1st grade, they were lining up for music one day. The class lined up quicker than usual so they had some time to kill before class started. The teacher went down the line, asking each kiddo their favorite drink so they could make a class graph. She got to my girl who responded, “Jack Daniels”. The teacher clarified that she only wanted drinks that the kids drank. And my daughter came back with, “OH, I drink Jack Daniels!” The email from the teacher with that story got forwarded right on to my husband – that was his doing, not mine! 🙂

  3. LAUGHING! At everything!

  4. That is too Hilarious!!! Why oh why are they so inquisitive about things they should know nothing about?!!!

  5. blue sun!!!! love it!

  6. My favorite memories with you guys include wine. Just sayin’… 🙂

  7. Love it! There’s never a dull moment as long as he’s awake, is there?

    When my niece was JH’s age she was at church with her mom and grandparents, and when the communion server passed the plate to my SIL, her little one stage whispered “oh no, my mommy only drinks BEER.” Total humiliation for my SIL, great story for the rest of us. 🙂

  8. HILARIOUS! Still laughing . . .

  9. I so wish I hadn’t read this post last night before heading up to bed. I immediately had to check out Nick at Nite because I couldn’t believe Friends was on it! Did you know there was a Friends MARATHON on last night until 4:30am??? Didn’t make it through the whole marathon…but it came way too close!

  10. Lol! What is it with these little guys? Mine is fascinated by all things alcohol, and we only have a casual glass of wine at adult dinners. He recently read a Tin-Tin comic book with a character drunk on whiskey, so he blurts out in Mai Lee the other night, “I’m drinkin’ whiskey!” Sigh and embarrassment.
    It’s like they know it’s forbidden and that makes it another mommy-button to push! 🙂

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