(title, of course, a nod to Friends, which is on Nick at Nite this week. NICK AT NITE? Are you kidding me? They air old shows. Classics. What’s my beloved Friends doing on Nick at Nite? Gah.)
Leave it to Jack Henry.
After spending a couple of days thinking about our family lore, it’s just fitting that this is my next blog post.
On Wednesday, Jack Henry and I were at the grocery store with a fairly lengthy list. We were shopping at one of our two closest Schnucks stores, and this one is being remodeled…so there’s lots of stuff out of place, which means more walking around the store than usual = long trip. JH will still sit in the front seat of the cart (though removal is getting difficult, primarily due to his size 11 shoes having to make it back through those leg holes) and, naturally, talk my ear off while we shop.
I had on my list 2 kinds of wine: one for us to drink*, and a tiny bottle for me to cook with on a recipe I’m wanting to try. My favorites weren’t on a good sale at Schnucks, so I opted to get the drinking wine elsewhere, but I did pick up a mini plastic bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and placed it in the cart without noticing where.
Jack Henry started asking if he could hold it…I told him no. He asked why…I told him because I didn’t want him to. He asked if it was because it was made of glass, because he’s not supposed to touch glass things…and I told him no, it was actually plastic, but that I still didn’t want him just holding it in the cart.
2 minutes later, I was standing a couple of feet from the cart, distracted from what is clearly the never-ending endurance sport of parenting for a second as I tried to concentrate on actually choosing the groceries I’d put on my list. A very pregnant lady pushing one of those car carts with a toddler in the front slowly
waddled passed by. I heard Jack Henry kinda start talking to them as they passed, telling them that he was drinking wine. I turned around to see him with the tiny bottle in his hands, tipping it up like he’s drinking it. I apologized to the lady for my little lush, and we scurried away.
Right past an end-cap that reminded him of a question that must have been on his mind, because he immediately blurted out, “Mom? Do you have any more of that Blue Sun at home or did you and Dad drink it all?” Realizing that he meant Blue Moon and wanting to crawl in a deep, dark hole with one of the afore-mentioned beverages, I whispered, “No, Jack Henry, there’s still plenty left, but you really don’t need to worry about that.”
I never even drink in front of him, but because until preschool started 3 weeks ago he’s always done the shopping with me, he’s well-informed about our purchases.
Let’s hope he doesn’t bring this up at school.
*I feel like I need to defend my drinking here by telling you that it’s one glass of wine, max a couple of nights a week. Harmless, I swear.