The One Where I’m Completely Torn. (aka The First Day of School 2012)

School started this morning.

Like every year, the early part of August makes me all conflicted…am I excited about school starting, or dreading it?

As a kid, I can remember crying at the end of summer (and Christmas break); I LOVED summer, and yet, I really liked school, too, so the idea of getting back to seeing my friends every day, etc. was really desirable, too.

As a mom, I love the return of routine, and if I’m being totally honest, the break from the kids is nice. However, the flip side of that is that I do miss them, and the fun things we did all summer long. The stress over listening to them bicker with each other is replaced by anxiety about them not being here with me. The sadness reminds me that yet another summer has slipped by, with my kids getting older, and I really don’t like that one bit.

Because next year, on this very day, I’ll be writing to you as a mom with all of her kids in full day school. Enter identity crisis that I have a year to get an ulcer about…I’m a mom of young kids…you know, that mom who, even if she has some kids in school, still has a little one home with her. It’s who I am. Except it’s not who I’ll be come next August.

Welcome to the crazy, y’all. Pull up a seat.

Back to this year, and summer ending, and school. Yesterday, the boys decided to play this game downstairs that involved a lot of long-untouched toys. They played for three hours straight with no fighting, no break in play, nothing. Just having fun, the three of them. It was the perfect end to summer, and solidifies my feelings about playing with friends, which is this: I have NOTHING against the boys having friends over to play, or going to a friend’s house. It’s a nice break in routine for all of us, kids and adults alike. But we had 3 boys in the span of less than 5 years, and by golly, they’re going to be friends with each other if it’s the last thing I do. I want their memories of childhood to be filled with things they did together, and that means not doing stuff all of the time that pulls us away from home or each other.

Which brings me to this morning. And the pulling away from each other. I’ll let the pictures tell the rest of the story.

We drove the boys to school this morning (Matt came too!), and after we left, Jack Henry started to cry again. But this time, it was because his buddies were gone. It’s just so sad to watch! So I was sad about that, and then I got even sadder because next year, he won’t be left behind. Ugh. I’m a mess.

Hope all of you out there had (or will soon have) a great first day back!

16 responses to “The One Where I’m Completely Torn. (aka The First Day of School 2012)

  1. JH’s smile through tears just about tore my tiny little heart right out! I love that face!!

  2. Oh Nicole, I feel you. I miss Cooper so much during the day. As far as your identity, you are paving the way to the watchful eyes of your friends. In a few years, I will be asking for your advice!

  3. Nicole, thank you for sharing. We love the photo of the boys together and JH near tears…so sweet! My T asked to see it again. There’s a lot of emotion around this time of year and this occasion of “back to school,” and you captured it extremely well. Same way you’re handling it now.

  4. Love this post!!!!! As you well know, I can’t identify w/ you about the whole back-to-school mixed-emotions thing because I was completely submerged in my own self-pity over having to go back to MY classroom!! I hope you can really enjoy this last year w/ JH still home part-time. 🙂

    The pictures!!! The one w/ Matt & the 3 boys will forever be a classic, and the one w/ you in it: oh, if looks could KILL!! That’s some serious mad!! (And, BTW, you look gorgeous.)

    • The years that my schedule was primarily school-year heavy were not my favorites, so I can imagine how you felt!

      I know…I just laugh every time I look at this picture! He’s so mad!!

  5. I’m SO there with you today! I dropped my little one off at preschool today. Mama was not happy. Baby loved it though. My poor torn heart!

  6. Wait, you do your hair cute every day?!?!? I look like a disheveled SAHM nearly daily-showered today at 8PM…. okay, B looks sooooo tall in that smartboard pic. Which…ummmm….those look so. Cool. *love JH and his sweet, loving character*! Can. Not imagine u home without him!!! 😦 they are getting so big-bittersweet.

    • I thought the same thing, Heidi–what mom LOOKS like that on a Mon morn????

      • . . . or Tues morn–whoops!

      • haha! um NO. I showered before bed last night so that I could curl my hair this morning, knowing that I wouldn’t want to shower and blowdry and straighten, since I was going up to school with them, out to lunch, etc. On a typical day, my hair does NOT look like this! But, the wonderful benefit of curling my hair is that I get at least 2, sometimes 3, days out of it.

    • The smartboards are really, really cool! And he has definitely grown over the summer!

    • She’s WAY too cute for a frazzled 1st day of school picture. Which is exactly why I’ve never been in one before. Look me up in a few days when Blake is off at school all. day. long. Gulp!!

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