Right out of college, Matt lived in this tiny town in northern IL, south of what’s considered the suburbs, in an efficiency apartment. Lemme tell ya, it was special. Month-to-month rent meant the clientele was also, ahem, a little special, but he made do since it was what he could afford, and really, he grew to love his little place.
So much so that I remember him one time mentioning, after we were engaged, that maybe we could live there together for a while if we needed to after we were married. I remember laughing my head off at him…this place was like 350 square feet max with 1 closet and a nasty bathroom (though, truthfully, that was pretty much Matt’s fault). I was like, “We don’t need anything fancy, but it has to be bigger than this.”
The kitchen was also gross, primarily because my beloved didn’t really cook, except to occasionally boil some water for mac and cheese or spaghetti. If he did this, though, he’d leave the dishes in the sink forever, until they got so bad I can’t even talk about it without wanting to throw up. I’ll put it this way: I went up to see him one weekend, and I got in town before he was done with work, so I got his key and went to his place to clean it. I saw how bad it was and told him I’d still do it, but that he’d have to pay me, and that I would be throwing out any dishes I deemed not salvageable.
BREAK: Matt Diehl, you’ve come a long way, baby.
All of that to say: we did not eat meals in that apartment very often. And because we were poor college/right-out-of-college kids, we ate fast food with some regularity.
Sometimes, I didn’t really want a whole serving of fries, but just wanted a couple. And my sweet boyfriend/fiance? DID NOT LIKE TO SHARE.
Somewhere along the lines, he came to terms with the fact that he was in love with and marrying a girl who does, indeed, like to swipe a fry or two from the bag if she’s not getting her own. He’s ok with it now.
So when I saw this card yesterday at Kohl’s, right by where I was killing a little bit of time while I waited to return something, I stifled an out-loud laugh. It would’ve been the perfect card for Matt to give me 15 years ago or so.
Thanks for chillin’ out about the fries, dude.