This morning, in anticipation of the impending snow, I decided to wear my snow boots. They go best with my leggings so that’s what I wore.


I had to go to Walmart. Sidenote: people the aisles work just like streets. Stay to the right, don’t pull out in front of someone. It’s not that hard. End rant.

I was nearly finished shopping when I stopped at a bin full of tiny Lego sets. A man stopped behind me and picked one up, too. I made small talk about it being a good stocking stuffer (what can I say…I try to make the Walmart shopping experience friendly and less painful) and went on my way.

A few seconds later I realized he had followed me into a rather remote aisle of the store. He immediately told me that I had nice, muscular calves, and he wanted to know: was I a runner? Did I work out?

Initially, he seemed harmless. I answered that I run a little and workout. I asked if he was a trainer.

And then it got weird. He said no, he just has a “thing” for women with muscular calves.

He asked me if I’d flex my calf and let him touch it. I said no and turned away to attend to what I was shopping for. He remained in the aisle, clearly not taking a hint from my social cues.

He asked if my quads were strong, too (see picture above: thank you Jesus they were covered completely) AND IF HE COULD TOUCH THEM.

I whipped around with the most disgusted look on my face, and said no with more than a little ewwww in my voice.

By now I put what I was looking at back on the shelf and made a beeline out of the aisle as he headed the other direction. I watched carefully during checkout and leaving the store to make sure he wasn’t anywhere nearby.

My next stop was Kohl’s, where I took the above picture. About 10 minutes after I got there, I spotted this creeper again. I ducked behind a display; I was pretty certain he didn’t see me. I watched him head the other direction and to the checkout. So I really think that was just a disgusting coincidence. Which is good because I was ready to call the cops.

Here’s what’s funny…he must just have a fetish for girls with thick legs. Because despite my hundreds of hours of working out and 28lbs lost, my legs are still holding onto a disproportionately large amount of fat. They’re better than they were for sure but they are not muscular.

Weirdo. Seriously.

12 responses to “Gag.

  1. Some dudes just need to be throat-chopped.

  2. I commented on FB but wanted to add that you DO look mighty foxy–ha! If this had happened to me, I’d have immediately been so sweaty I’d have had to whip my coat off–& the perv would have gotten HIS fright!! 😉

  3. Was this the Walmart on Hanley? That place is full of weirdos.

  4. Years ago when I was around the age that you are now, I had a weirdo follow me around the Champaign Mall. This went on for hours and right before we were going to leave, he flashed me!!! ewwee!!! I didn’t say a word…..just looked and walked on. Wish it would happen now!!! I would have a few choice words for him!!!

  5. I wonder if you have any friends that just happen to be police officers. That would be a safe way to just mention this to them and ask if something like this should be reported to the local police. It feels like someone in authority should be put on alert for this perv.

  6. You’re too pretty to shop at Wal Mart. Seriously.

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